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steady78
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 Posted - 04/03/2009 : 2:53:00 PM
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I first introduced my fiancee to my naturist lifestyle a couple of years ago and she is now enjoying it with me. We will soon be moving into a new home and with that of course comes the kids.
She has a 15yr old girl who will be living with us full time and we each have 18 yr old daughters who are just getting out on their own and still spend some time at our homes.
We will be installing a pool and hot tub in the back yard and we hope to be naked in the yard as much as possible.
Here's my question, has anyone been in this position of needing to introduce your lifestyle to older children, and what would those of you that have suggest?
We don't care if the girls join us as we feel it's their choice, but, we really want to be able to enjoy being naked as much as possible.
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Country: Canada
| Posts: 141 |
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Balto Bob
$ Supporter
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 Posted - 04/05/2009 : 08:58:49 AM
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First-GOOD LUCK!!
Blended familes can be a challenge. The 15 year old will be your main concern. Is her father involved? Is her mother nude at home now? Declaring your home, clothingoptional should be simple. Making it work might be harder. Have you discussed this with your daughter? Are you often nude when she is around? Let us know how it goes.
Bob
Have a nice NUDE day !!
www.flickr.com/photos/isisdc/2560300492/
www.flickr.com/photos/perspective/2560521247/
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Country: USA
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agde
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Posted - 04/06/2009 : 02:11:01 AM
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When I was 16, one of the guys at the office (where I worked at part-time) remarried and was in this situation. I also knew him (I'll call him "Michael") from the sunclub and happened to be good friends with his new "step-daughter" too (I'll call her "Julie") who was my age at the same school. So I kind of got both sides of the story.
Julie of course had gotten to know Michael quite well, but not the naturist aspect. As soon as the mother "said yes", she talked to Julie about how all sorts of things would change, and in that context mentioned that Michael, unlike her father, was for instance very easy-going about being "dressed all the time". I know this because, when I asked Julie if she was excited about the upcoming marriage, she said yes, but that she was a bit apprehensive about living together. I suspected so I pressed her about why. She told me that her mom called it "just a different family setup, of being more casual together". but although Julie knew she herself didn't have to be "casual", she still felt weird about it. That's when I got to tell about my family also being "casual" that way, that it was no big deal for us, but that she should talk a lot with her mom as she was getting used to it, and also to Michael, who I knew was a very nice, fun person.
Michael meanwhile was all concerned, and then, when he found out I knew Julie, bugged me all the time about "kids' attitudes" and wanted to hear all about what she was thinking -- which, out of peer loyalty and friendship, I of course steadfastly refused to divulge!  What I did say, from a "kid" point of view, was just to be his normal self, be clothed or unclothed naturally in context, be on the same page with "mom", and otherwise focus on normal family stuff.
Within a couple weeks after the marriage, Julie told me that things were going great, that I was right that the clothing thing was no big deal, and much more relaxed than she expected. The biggest change for her, she said, was not worrying about closing doors.
The point of the story is that her mom took the lead, that the new house rules happened right away just as part of all the other changes, that nobody tried to be somebody else, and that clearly her initial experiences with her mom and step-dad being relaxed and in tune helped her to make the transition. She didn't feel any pressure to be nude herself, so the extent of clothing just was part of the natural rhythm of her new household.
Hope this is a useful anecdote -- of course, every person, kid or adult, and every household, has a unique personality.
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Edited by - agde on 04/06/2009 02:23:37 AM |
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Country: France
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steady78
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Posted - 04/08/2009 : 02:57:00 AM
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Thanks for the great responses so far!
First BOB, my fiancee's ex is not in the picture so that isn't a problem.
My daughter has walked in on us during our naked days and seemed ok with it other than a smart assed coment.
At her home my fiancee's still nervous making that first naked step in front of her girls. Sure, they've seen her naked but only getting changed or coming out of the shower. We've started leaving the bedroom door open. When they get a glimps of one of us we don't cover up or hide.
We've decided to proclaim the back yard, hot tub and pool, clothing optional.
Agde, we agree that a united front and making the move as soon as we move in will make the changes easier.
We're waiting for a good time to have an honest conversation with all of them about this lifestyle.
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Country: Canada
| Posts: 141 |
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steady78
Forum Member
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Posted - 05/07/2009 : 2:05:38 PM
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Just an update.
A couple of weeks ago my fiancee was talking to her 15 yr old. The daughter mentioned that she had seen me naked in our room and that I did'nt cover up. My fiancee told her that we were both interested in nudism and that I especailly enjoyed being naked as much as possible. The conversation was short and the 15 yr old seemed fine with the idea.
Well this morning I was brushing my teeth in our ensuite when the 15 yr old walked in to our room to ask for a ride to school. I was completely naked and she had no problem talking to me for a minute or so while I finished brushing my teeth.
I think our openess about our nudism is having the desired effect. She is comfortable with our nudity and now we can start the next step, clothes free around the house and outside when the summer weather gets here!!!!
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Country: Canada
| Posts: 141 |
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steady78
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Posted - 05/28/2009 : 12:31:46 PM
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Another update !!
We had an open honest conversation a couple of days ago with the 15 yr old about our naturism and going to nude beaches. It went well I think, because we talked to her in a matter of fact and adult manner.
Well, the hot weather is here on the west coast of Canada  So yesterday after a round of golf in the morning I was at my fiancee's house alone and decided to put up a screen to block the nabours view and get some sun.
It was fantastic !! I laid there for a couple of hours and fell asleep. When I woke up the 15 yr old had come home from school. It appeared as though she had'nt noticed me naked out back. So I packed up and went to my night shift.
Later on I called my fiancee who told me her daughter had seen me naked in the back yard. She told her mom she had no problem with it other than she was worried the nabour could see me. While we were on the phone the two of them laughed about it and my fiancee told her she should get use to it. She said she already was cause she's seen us many times.
It looks like the openess we have shown to our girls on this life style is paying off. And we're going to have that naturist home we hoped for
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Country: Canada
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PopandMomBear
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Posted - 05/28/2009 : 3:28:36 PM
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All i can say is congratulations and best wishes for your life ahead.
Randy
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Country: USA
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steady78
Forum Member
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Posted - 09/26/2009 : 1:44:22 PM
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Another update,
Well, we got married a couple of weeks ago in the back yard that is now complete with the pool hot tub and deck.
Married life is great and we are enjoying the warm September as much as possible in the back yard.
So, I finished the backyard a week before the wedding and we had lots of company till after the wedding.
We now have 2 of my wife's daughters (15 and 19 ) living here for a while. the 19 yr old knows about my naturism and has not made a big thing about it. She and her friends saw my name listed on a Facebook naturism group. When she told me about it I made no bones about it, I love to be naked :).
This past week I told my wife that I wanted to spend a full day naked in the yard I worked so hard building. she said, I should just do it cause the kids have had their friends here almost every day and I should have the chance to use the yard before the cold weather comes.
Well, that day the 15 yr old was at school,the 19 yr old was sleeping in and my new wife was working :(.
Well, I got out of bed and did'nt get dressed all day. I made breakfast naked the way I usually do and went out side for the day. I swam, sunned and practiced snorkeling. At noon I went inside to get something to eat and the 19 yr old was in the livingroom watching TV so she didn't see me naked.
An hour later she popped outside and told me she was heading out to a friend's house at the lake. She told me that she didn't want to take away my chance to enjoy the yard the way I wanted. She told me she had seen me naked earlier that day and phoned her friends to tell them that they had to change their plans and go somewhere else. We had a small conversation and I thanked her for being so thoughtful.
Wow, she is really fine with our nudity. And said that she is'nt comfortable being naked herself but because we haven't tried to push it on her and her sisters it has been no problem seeing us naked around the house and in the back yard.
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Country: Canada
| Posts: 141 |
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Diger
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Posted - 09/26/2009 : 4:48:42 PM
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Sounds like your new stepdaughter is quite the responsible young lady. Congrats and hope everything keeps going so well.
Diger
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NudeAl
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Posted - 09/26/2009 : 8:50:19 PM
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Cangratulations sounds like things are going great. Someimtes all it takes is honest conversation. Goodluck
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. -- Robert Frost
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Country: USA
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Balto Bob
$ Supporter
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Diger
Forum Member
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Posted - 09/27/2009 : 12:24:11 PM
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Believe me it probably won't limit the teen visits, our boys are always bringing friends home but they call to make sure we put something on. We are thinking of starting some code words for us to get dressed ... LOL
Any suggestions on a good code word?
Diger
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Country: USA
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Nudony
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Posted - 09/27/2009 : 1:39:23 PM
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Uuuugh...how about "textile alert!"?
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Diger
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Posted - 09/27/2009 : 6:16:20 PM
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LOL ... The other day they came in with one of their friends and as they started upstairs our oldest told their friend,"Your lucky they have clothes on tonight." Mom gave him a dirty look and they all laughed.
Diger
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Country: USA
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steady78
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/13/2009 : 6:36:20 PM
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Another update,
well we've suffered a set back The youngest who was the one who accepted our nudity the easiest is now being less tolerant of seeing us naked.
Turns out she's mentioned our nudity to her friends and the "leader of the pack" has convinced all her friends that it's gross to see adults naked. So, my stepdaughter who's been raised to have an open mind and is in that tough teenage conforming stage of her life is having a tough time. We'll continue with our lives and support her as she develops her own opinions and self confidence.
the 19yr who worked all summer in a small resort town that has nude beaches moved in with us for a couple of months(september and October). The weather was hot in sept and she had friends over a lot. But, my wife and I also had several naked days. I guess her working in that resort town has changed her opinion of us being naked all the time cause she even walks into our room when I'm naked. She doesn't join us but has no problem seeing me naked in the backyard.
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Country: Canada
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Warmskin
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Posted - 11/14/2009 : 9:51:46 PM
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Teens are not that tolerant. They live with so much peer pressure, and the "leader" of a pack is not a leader because of a higher IQ. The leader may simply be a loudmouth, or more pushy.
As I remember back in my teen years, it was not easy to hold your own opinion for fear of ridicule. There is nothing worse than declaring your own conclusion if it differs from the group leader's. Teens walk around in a mental and emotional straight-jacket. I mean to say that in general, although some teens don't need or want such tight conformance in their life. I know I didn't when I was that age. I had to keep my preferences to myself, or face being ostracized by my fellow teens.
Given all that, I'd guess that the 15 year old's friends probably don't yet have the capacity to be open minded. It is a bit humorous, if there is anything humorous in all this, and that is that when the 15 year old becomes an adult, she will then have an older body, that right now, her friends think are gross. I don't mean to make light of this, but it does point out the frustration of the teenage years.
Someone pointed out that if teenagers had complete freedom, they would simply copy each other to the point that it would appear that they have no freedom at all. This goes to the 15 year old. It seems her opinions have been too well shaped by that of her friends. That is not her fault; it's just how people behave at that age.
I hope very much that she comes around and fully and cheerfully accepts nudism. It may take some time. Maybe she could be convinced not to tell her friends about nudism at the home.
Ironically, teens have all the answers, but don't know what the questions are. I hope this does not excessively interfere with being nude at home, Steady78. In the long run, I'll bet things get better.
Maybe by the time your 15 year old goes to college, she'll have a mind expanding experience, and learn to think well past what her current friends are having her think now. College is only about 3 years away for her. Let's face it; college kids are known for their off-beat behavior. She'll be thinking on a much higher plain at that time. Maybe then, she'll accept your nudism quite fully, and maybe even participate!!!
How far you can go without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without?
Dwight D. Eisenhower
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Introducing older teens to Naturism ??
