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pantone_138c
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 Posted - 12/04/2007 : 3:34:28 PM
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I am a single mom with 3 daughters. 9, 12, and 14. I was raised nudist by my parents (both passed away) and have done the same with my girls. We are allways nude at home and in our private backyard. I want to take them to a resort so we can meet like-minded families. But they have not had a male in their lives since the youngest was born and have never seen an adult male nude. I am conserned how to address the questions and stares that may arise with they see a adult penis for the first time. Any thoughts on how to handle this, and any good recommendations of family oriented resorts in the southern california area?
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Edited by - Moderator on 06/12/2008 1:59:31 PM
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kangaroo
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Posted - 12/04/2007 : 8:26:21 PM
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Have you talked to them yet? They are old enough that you can discuss with them what to expect. There are also nudist club/resort sites that show both men and women in their full state of undress. They could view those sites while you overlook (answering questions...etc.) Make sure you review those sites first, since there are many sites which use nudism as a "cover" for other non-nudist activities.
Another option would be to find an informational site online that describes and provides pictures of the male anatomy.
Either way, there will probably be some initial staring, since real-life is different than a picture, and curiosity may get the best of them. That's ok as long as they are not obvious about it. Once they are accustomed to seeing men around, they will quickly get over penis thing.
Being from the East coast, I have no recommendations for Southern Cal. Sorry!
Hope that helps.
-Kanga
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pantone_138c
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Posted - 12/04/2007 : 9:01:28 PM
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Thank you for your responce. I have actually done some of the things you suggested such as show them photos in art books and art photography books. So they have seen pictures of the male anatomy but as you said seeing it for real is very different. Especially for my youngest who is currently just the wrong heighth. I am concerned that she will be eye to eye with most mens groins and seeing that at eye level and sometimes only a few feet away could be tramatizing. Not to mention the occasional erection. From my experience they dont happen a lot but they do happen.
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agde
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Posted - 12/05/2007 : 01:57:36 AM
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Pantone_138, I wouldn't worry too much. It is natural for kids to be curious. As a naturist parent, I have found that the initial staring is normal, healthy and temporary. Answers to questions need to be age appropriate of course and, over the years, I've heard myself answering superficially similar questions somewhat differently depending on what I suspected a specific kid was actually wondering.
For me, five things have been helpful.
- I try to keep answers matter-a-fact and short. There is a temptation to over-explain, and kids' followup questions often are surprising/revealing about what they're really asking.
- As a kind of background mantra, I try to answer in a way that keeps human body questions in the overall context of social relationships and how Nature works in general. Farm kids know about the latter, but city kids often need the context. On the former, even sexuality questions from teens are often more about relationships than about reproductive mechanics.
- Specifically on the penis, girls are usually curious to find out that guys are always changing sizes for lots of different reasons, but, like all naturists, they seem quickly to accept penises as just another attribute like blue eyes, big ears or a bald head.
- Questions are a super occasion to emphasize that bodies come in two basic types and all sorts of shapes and sizes, but the variety is fun, no one type is better, everyone deserves equal respect, and the body is just a vessel for the personality -- which is by far the most important thing.
- One of the greatest lessons naturist kids learn is to see every person somehow on the continuum of life, from infant to grandparent. Questions often actually have some connection to how old the other person is or how bodies change over time.
Hope this is useful. It is fantastic that you are raising your girls as naturists. Growing up naturist, as I did with siblings and a half-dozen girl cousins, allows all kinds of questions to come naturally in an age appropriate way and provides kids with a really good foundation for subsequent human relationships.
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CMx2
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Posted - 12/07/2007 : 02:00:14 AM
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On the very very slim chance that this is not a troll post, I think you're way over-thinking this.
A naked body is rarely a traumatizing object unless something inappropriate is going on. However, If I were in your situation, I'd be more concerned about the stunted growth of my 3 foot tall 9 year old.
I also recommend downloading firefox. It has a built in spell checker!
http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/
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Diger
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Posted - 12/07/2007 : 4:50:23 PM
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I agree, don't over think it,just go and have a good time and your daughters will follow your lead. If you are nervous thay will be also, just relax and deal with things if or when they happen. Your 9yo should be fine, but your 14yo could be the one that is uneasy. She is the one you should talk to, if you and she are relaxed the others should be fine.
If they do stare some, don't worry about it, adults know kids are curious. Just make apologies for them and go on, everyone else will.
Diger
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nudeisntlewd
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Posted - 12/07/2007 : 7:26:14 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by CMx2
On the very very slim chance that this is not a troll post...
What on Earth would make you think that this is a troll post? It's a perfectly logical concern. People don't need or deserve to be attacked and insulted when they have a question.
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CathyK
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Posted - 12/08/2007 : 3:02:01 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by nudeisntlewd
quote:
Originally posted by CMx2
On the very very slim chance that this is not a troll post...
What on Earth would make you think that this is a troll post? It's a perfectly logical concern. People don't need or deserve to be attacked and insulted when they have a question.
That makes 2 troll posts.
Cathy
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Diger
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Posted - 12/08/2007 : 3:37:20 PM
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I have wondered the same thing about some posts, because some are just way over the top. I'm not saying this one is, but some are and it's hard not to say anything. However I think, even if it is a troll we can serve or life style best by, just giving good advice.
I believe there was once a troll on this board named Marked4life. He knocked our choice of dress with everyting he had, but he was so impressed in how nice the people here were, he tried it and was converted.
My point is you never know.
Diger
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go n nude
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Posted - 12/08/2007 : 9:37:24 PM
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Pantone, children are natural nudists free of all the hang ups. I was surprised how well my son and daughter accepted their first visit to a resort and immediatly made friends and enjoyed themselves. I feared the worst. Check out the AANR website for locations near you.
I'll bet they'll enjoy it too!
go n nude
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Country: Canada
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nudeisntlewd
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/09/2007 : 04:27:36 AM
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I prefer to not first assume the worst of people when they have a question. If that's trolling, What-evvver. 
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Little Fellow
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Posted - 06/12/2008 : 1:11:04 PM
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I don't belive that you will have any problems wiith the 14 year old, most kids at that age start to become curious about the other gender, especially if they aren't used to it.
In England most kids get sex education at the age of 10 so they wouldn't be completely ignorant of men's genitalia.
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ChristianMilitary
New Member
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Posted - 07/23/2008 : 1:44:08 PM
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Dear Pantone 138c ,
I believe emphasis ought to be placed on selecting a naturist camp that has
1. Various activities that each of you can
participate in as individuals, pairs,
and group.
2. Friends that each of you can relate to.
Going to different camps might build
relationships with like-minded families.
I do not know what to do if you all
like the activities but the people were
not interesting, and vice~versa. Also,
if two of you liked a camp but not the
other two then what ? Perhaps shuttling
between these two camps solves the
problem.
Getting a human biology book and
art (paintings, drawings, sculptures)
from the library is a help too.
Going to a museum with nude art among
still lifes, landscapes, abstracts,
photographs may help also. These
activities can result in trying different
cuisines before and\or after the visit.
Interacting with others will help
everyone in your family focus on
relationships and less on sexual
differences. Having fun and get-
togethers with both males and females
ought to help your family be
comfortable with males of all ages.
This site lists naturist camps in
California:
http://www.lupin.com/others.html#calif
This naturist site, Southern
California Naturist Association,
gives an example of naturist kids art :
http://www.socalnaturist.org/kidskorner/kids.html
I would try different naturist camps
until you all are comfortable. I
suggest you WRITE DOWN the name of
the naturist camp you went to, the
date(s) of your visit, AND EACH
person's PROS+CONS of that site.
Also, over time a naturist camp
may change. If in 200X (2008) you
were not happy with a camp,
try again in say 200X+4 (2012).
Trying to love and understand
each person and expressing it both
verbally and physically ought to
result in better relations.
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nudeisntlewd
Forum Member
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Posted - 07/23/2008 : 3:28:59 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by CathyK
quote:
Originally posted by nudeisntlewd
quote:
Originally posted by CMx2
On the very very slim chance that this is not a troll post...
What on Earth would make you think that this is a troll post? It's a perfectly logical concern. People don't need or deserve to be attacked and insulted when they have a question.
That makes 2 troll posts.
Cathy
I just came across this again when reading the most current post on the topic.
If you want to sling mud, I'll sling it back.
The above poorly executed quote by Cathy (“That makes 2 troll posts.” below my signature belongs outside of the quoted area.)is typical of the Johnny & Janey come latelys don’t ever have any constructive comments or advice, but want to be heard and like to assume the worst.
Randy
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nudeisntlewd
Forum Member
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Posted - 07/23/2008 : 3:38:20 PM
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ChristianMilitary,
Welcome to the forum!
Sounds to me like you have some rational and sensible suggestions. We can always use more of those!
Randy
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ChristianMilitary
New Member
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Posted - 07/24/2008 : 11:26:00 AM
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Dear Pantone 138c ,
Regarding you and your daughters evaluating
a naturist camp, you may want to use a
mini~matrix. For example :
Naturist Camp: California Sunshine
Date Visited: o2 August 2008, Saturday
9 y/o 12/yo 14 y/o MOM TOTALS Subject
20 20 80 70 190 Activities
20 20 80 90 210 Size of camp
80 80 80 90 370 Food
30 20 70 60 180 Friendliness
90 90 70 60 310 Pool \ Lake
20 10 40 80 150 Distance as problem
1,410 TOTAL
Quantifying each person's rating of each subject helps to see:
* Which subjects are important
* Adjusting one's rating. e.g. if your daughters
do not see a relatively long distance to the camp
as a problem and most of the other subjects
get highly rated, your score might be negated
(gas prices may result in negotiating for
a closer camp)
* High Food scores may suggest the importance of
food in selecting a camp. Fine tuning this
subject might be : variety*price*quality,etc.
* Low scores of friendliness for the youngest
ladies might suggest looking for another camp
Thus, there's different ways of reading your own info.
Quantifying family member's evaluation helps to understand
what to what degree "great" or "lousy" is. i.e.
If it's great but you are giving it a 60 would probably
raise questions about how "great" it is. This provides
a wonderful opportunity to kindly "needle" and "pressure"
family members ~ to have the individual think through
and give a more accurate numberical rating !
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Single mom with concerns
