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Conster74
Forum Member
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 Posted - 08/23/2003 : 8:07:18 PM
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Thank you for your welcome and support. I do hope my mom is at least a little understanding and doesn't equate being nudist with being a horrible, evil Nazi pond scum who eats little children for breakfast.  Ah well. 
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Country: USA
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irishred
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/25/2003 : 08:29:31 AM
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Conster:
Welcome! Nothing wrong with nudism. Enjoy the freedom! 
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Country: USA
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calmnude
Forum Member
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Posted - 08/25/2003 : 09:42:08 AM
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conster74, its a great lifestyle, you meet lots of very nice people, and above all its FUN
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Country: USA
| Posts: 1140 |
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melissastarr
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/07/2003 : 07:26:51 AM
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Womenfolk... I need you! It seems that there are sooooo few women nudist in my area. At my first social nudist event- a swim with TSSC- the male:female ratio was probably 10:1. Very uncomfortable. Yet I don't know what I can do about it. None of my friends are ok with nudism. They are currently working together to try to lecture me out of the nudist lifestyle. Further, all of the women that I saw at the swim were married and were with their spouse most of the time. Surely I'm not the only single female nudist in the world, right? So what do I do? I have no female to bring with me. And with all those men..... Yikes! Any thoughts or ideas?
My clothes have low self-esteem... they know they're not wanted.
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Country: USA
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calmnude
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/07/2003 : 10:13:53 AM
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cheri, isnt there a womens group that helps with this. thought tns or aanr had something to help melissa out, but dont know whether or not is active in the philly area
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Country: USA
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Cheri
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/07/2003 : 10:19:54 AM
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I'm part of the WINR network, Calmnude. Melissa & I have talked and will continue talking. The problem is getting some of the single men to bring ladies to the events. All of them may learn a thing through the Singles Network.
:) Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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Country: USA
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melissastarr
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/07/2003 : 10:24:41 AM
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I'm all for training up the men of the world... they have a lot to learn from us womenfolk. How do we get them to bring a lady with them? Offer free cheesesteaks to anyone who brings a lady? Better yet, offer free cheesesteaks to the lady- yum! The event I went to offered free admission to non-member women who were visiting for the first time. The incentive was there but the women weren't.
My clothes have low self-esteem... they know they're not wanted.
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Country: USA
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Cheri
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/07/2003 : 10:28:52 AM
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At the singles network events, there are programs giving the men some of the social skill needed. Some men attend nudist events to meet the ladies. It just doesn't work that way.
Hugs, Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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Country: USA
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irishred
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/07/2003 : 5:48:11 PM
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Melissa, mmm cheesesteaks.
Now you are talking!
Red
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Country: USA
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melissastarr
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/07/2003 : 9:27:32 PM
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I'm convinced if more people ate cheesesteaks we'd all be happier. Ever notice that the worst things that happen in this world came about without cheesesteaks? I'm convinced that all wars would cease if our leaders sat down and talked over a good philly cheesesteak. This is completely off topic, but I'll justify it by saying that cheesesteaks are a women's issue... we're supposed to eat a lot of calcium, and what better way than to eat a CHEESEsteak? Yum!
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My clothes have low self-esteem... they know they're not wanted.
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Country: USA
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cyndiann
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/08/2003 : 09:28:33 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Cheri
I'm part of the WINR network, Calmnude. Melissa & I have talked and will continue talking. The problem is getting some of the single men to bring ladies to the events. All of them may learn a thing through the Singles Network.
The problem is people like you who expect men to bring single women. There should be no pressure to do that. There are many out there that just aren't looking to hook up with someone and merely coming to a nudist event should not mean we should be forced to pair up. Even if they are looking for someone to date bringing someone with you should not be mandatory or even suggested.
Another point is that you aren't taking into consideration those who are gay. Why should a gay man bring a woman to a nudist function? For that matter why should anyone have to?
Why would a woman be uncomfortable with an abundance of men in attendance, especially if it really was like Cheri imagines and they are all looking for people to date? Wouldn't that mean she has a lot more choices?
As for the Singles Network I don't see them doing all that much for singles. Big deal, they hand out red bracelets... so does my singles group. The singles chair (Marji) lives right where I do and in several years of being FANR singles chair she didn't have any singles events at all, even though we have an abundance of clubs around here.
In a matter of weeks me and Marion Hagans has two clubs participating and we now average one singles event a week here. Sol Searchers rocks!
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Edited by - cyndiann on 11/08/2003 6:41:56 PM |
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melissastarr
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/08/2003 : 12:23:07 PM
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Cindiann,
It seems that you and I read the post very differently. I hear Cheri suggesting that men invite women to come. This is different than forcing a man to bring a woman with them. Having someone invite you to a nude event will more likely to get you to attend than just showing up on your own, right? Similarly, I would recommend that women invite friends to nudist events. The more the merrier. This isn't a requirement, of course, but why not open up the opportunity?
Regarding dating, I can't find a post that indicates that we all go to nudist events for dates. Perhaps I missed it. I can tell you that when I go to a nudist event it's not to find a date. At this time I have no interest in dating. Maybe that's why I feel a bit uncomfortable with such disproportionate numbers of men versus women. It's not that I expect the men to be out of control or anything, it's just uncomfortable to be in a very tiny minority. I would probably feel just as uncomfortable if I was part of some other obvious minority group at a swim. If I were the only 20-something in a group of 80-somethings, it would be equally strange. Not necessarily bad, but less comfortable than if I found others like me.
Perhaps my views are different from others- I can accept that. I'm new to nudism and I'm still working on accepting nudity of myself and others. I'm likely more sensitive to gender imbalances than others because of the newness and because of my past. Though I may be a bit more sensitive, I'm sure there are others out there who also feel uncomfortable for the same reasons I do.
Melissa
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My clothes have low self-esteem... they know they're not wanted.
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Country: USA
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Cheri
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/08/2003 : 12:30:58 PM
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Cyndiann, Marji HAS planned several singles events at workshops at a variety of clubs. I was invited to attend some of the workshops at the AANR conventon in TN. This weekend there's one planned at Serendipity in the Cleveland, GA area. Have you offered your assistance? Marji is also AANR Singles chair, I believe.
After 17 years of administering a club and moderator for a number of boards/chats and post to a number of others, I've listened and heard from singles who really need some social skills. I've also been a nudist for over 35 years. One of the first questions first time single men will ask, are there single ladies there about my age? I've made a number of suggestions to many, many single men on how to possibly bring their lady friends into nudism. I also state that nudism isn't for everyone. Women and couples should also try to get their single lady friends to accompany them.
There are ladies who are uncomfortable with an overabundance of men around them. I am not one of them. I think a 10:1 ratio in a confined area be it a member's home or small swimming pool, is a bit lopsided. My club is singles friendly. I started it as a single, and it will always be that way. However, please note, I have not been looking for dates as a married women.
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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Edited by - Cheri on 11/08/2003 5:02:04 PM |
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Country: USA
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cyndiann
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/08/2003 : 2:20:05 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by melissastarr
Cindiann,
It seems that you and I read the post very differently. I hear Cheri suggesting that men invite women to come. This is different than forcing a man to bring a woman with them. Having someone invite you to a nude event will more likely to get you to attend than just showing up on your own, right? Similarly, I would recommend that women invite friends to nudist events. The more the merrier. This isn't a requirement, of course, but why not open up the opportunity?
She only said the men should do it. Why not couples and women? Why would it be just the men's responsibility?quote:
Regarding dating, I can't find a post that indicates that we all go to nudist events for dates. Perhaps I missed it. I can tell you that when I go to a nudist event it's not to find a date. At this time I have no interest in dating.
Nobody said we all go to nudist events for dates. Some do, some don't. What is your point? Why is it a problem when men don't bring a woman to a nudist function? quote:
Maybe that's why I feel a bit uncomfortable with such disproportionate numbers of men versus women. It's not that I expect the men to be out of control or anything, it's just uncomfortable to be in a very tiny minority. I would probably feel just as uncomfortable if I was part of some other obvious minority group at a swim. If I were the only 20-something in a group of 80-somethings, it would be equally strange. Not necessarily bad, but less comfortable than if I found others like me.
Maybe you have a problem with social anxiety. They have medication for that. Sure seems easier to fix your own phobia than to require all of one gender to change for you.quote:
Perhaps my views are different from others- I can accept that. I'm new to nudism and I'm still working on accepting nudity of myself and others. I'm likely more sensitive to gender imbalances than others because of the newness and because of my past. Though I may be a bit more sensitive, I'm sure there are others out there who also feel uncomfortable for the same reasons I do.
You most likely are still working on because of things relative to your own issues. I say work on them but don't ask half the population to not attend nudist clubs because you are not happy with the ratios. Look inside yourself and deal with why you are not comfortable. Put yourself in situations where you feel just a bit uncomfortable so you can work through it.
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Edited by - cyndiann on 11/08/2003 3:01:56 PM |
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calmnude
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/08/2003 : 2:25:55 PM
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i think you are being a little harsh and judgemental cyndiann. this is a new person here, and instead of being understanding, you are berating them simply because of a difference of opinion.
and i think the personal attacks on both sides are uncalled for.
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Country: USA
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