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 Nudism - Supporting Family Values / Mental Health
 Parent's concern for a 17 year old.
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dragon
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Posted - 04/18/2009 :  12:45:59 PM  Show Profile  Visit dragon's Homepage  Send dragon a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
I'm new for talking to people about being natural. I'm trying to know the boundries when talking to people about this. I've found this site because I fell I need to communicate with a variety of people to help me and to talk about issues that we all have. But any way, it felt weird for me to where clothes when I was about 12. Some of my friends admitted that them and their family walk around the house nude. One time I went my friends house for the first time. At the time I was about 14. When I was about to walk inside his house, he'd stopped me and walked me back outside. He said I couldn't go in because about half of his family were naked and didn't want to put no clothes on - his mother and 2 other kids. Another friend walked around his house naked most of the time and his mother might have a shirt on sometimes when their home alone. One time, I went to this same friend's house early in the morning. His mom annswered the door, clothed. She said he was still in bed and I can go up there to wake him up. So I went upstairs to wake him up. He was sleeping nude. We'd talked for about 20 minutes and he got up and was searching for his clothes. His mom came in and said put some clothes on. He said "mom you seen me naked before and you know I saw you walking around the house naked." Then he went downstairs naked. His mom looked ashamed and didn't said anything. While we was in the kitchen and he looking for some food, still naked. He explained to me that his mother was putting up a front and she told him before it was ok to be naked. At this youg age, I thought this was weird but I liked being naked too. For years after those moments, I was confused what to think about them. I was thinking that they are family and they should feel comfitable with each other. I never thought about any sexual things. After time, I relized I needed to free my self too. When I had kids, I told them it was ok not to wear clothes, if they don't want to. I told them I didn't feel comfitable telling my parents about me. And I didn't want that to happen to them. I don't want them to reget about not talking to me. But anyway, my just turn 17 year old started to cover himself up and where clothes more. He wraps a towel around him after the shower. He admits he stays in his room naked and sleeps naked. I've talked to him and he siad everything was ok. Should I be worry about this? I don't want him having a mental issue or something. I feel if he has a problem he needs to talk to me and work it out. Once in a while, I confront him and asked him him, is everthing ok (about his nudity), and he still says everything is ok. But why the change? Should I worry or just forget about it?

Edited by - dragon on 04/18/2009 2:16:22 PM

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Little Fellow
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Posted - 04/18/2009 :  3:35:07 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I think that it's just a teen phase. I wasn't raised a naturist but even if I had been, I don't think I would have wanted to be nude in front of my parents. I'd be uncomforatable doing it now!

If he's always been enthusiastic about naturism, (and if he prefers being naked in his room, I am sure he is!) he will be back to normal when he feels ready!

And a really intersting story about how you discovered naturism, I wish I had good friends who like being naked. :)



Country: United Kingdom | Posts: 75 Go to Top of Page

thornapplebison
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Posted - 04/18/2009 :  6:13:37 PM  Show Profile  Send thornapplebison a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
Respect his choices. The issue is not nudity, but freedom.

If he has self-esteem issues, they're surely expressing themselves in other, more dangerous or damaging ways. If so, see to that. If not, why care if he wears clothes or not?





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NudeAl
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Posted - 04/19/2009 :  12:54:34 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Kids go through this phase in my opinion. I think it will work itself out over time, it may be a few years though.


The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. -- Robert Frost



Country: USA | Posts: 457 Go to Top of Page

agde
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Posted - 04/21/2009 :  12:05:04 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by thornapplebison
Respect his choices. The issue is not nudity, but freedom.

Good point about freedom-not-nudity -- in fact, teenage is a lot about learning how to make independent choices within a sea of conformity pressures. Aside from being role models, parents can often help most just by walking kids through the choice process -- trying to stay non-partisan while underscoring core principles.

My childhood household was clothing-optional, but, even when we got to the age of sorting through sexual feelings and privacy issues, a certain amount of daily nude time was expected just as a health thing to give the body a chance to breathe. As a parent, I also borrowed my mom's principle of "clothes according to activity." For example, school or work clothes get put away when you get home, and then you choose -- house clothes, no clothes, sports clothes, whatever makes sense depending on what you're doing next. This helped me as a kid, and hopefully my kids, by having a sort of structure of decision points. Essentially, you always started nude and then accessorized (or not).

Anyway, nothing to worry about and it may not take "a few years". Just wanted to mention a couple things that seemed to speed and smooth the teen transition for me, both as a teen and a parent, by making nudity less binary and more part of the daily routine, by providing natural points to discuss the process of choice, and by highlighting the elements of choice -- practicality, comfort, etc.

The trauma for ardent naturist parents is that, once you set up the self-decision framework, you are kind of committed to respecting your teen's choice. Of course, the flip-side is that they have to respect yours too.



Edited by - agde on 04/21/2009 12:07:50 AM

Country: France | Posts: 252 Go to Top of Page

nudeguy
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Posted - 05/13/2009 :  11:18:09 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Dragon, your son just turned 17 and he has taken to covering up more often. To me the reason is obvious. When I was that age, I was "plagued" by frequent spontaneous erections and was very self-conscious about it. Sometimes they lasted for several hours. Appearing nude in front of my parents would have been out of the question. I believe your son's body is experiencing the testosterone surge of a normal growing boy in his mid teens and he would simply be embarrassed to be seen in a state of sexual arousal that is beyond his control. Perhaps you could gently ask him if that is the reason for his recent behavior. If it is, offer him reassurance that such functions are a normal part of a young man's life, but it's also okay to cover up if doing so helps him live with his situation more comfortably.


Country: USA | Posts: 126 Go to Top of Page

Warmskin
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Posted - 05/15/2009 :  01:56:09 AM  Show Profile  Send Warmskin a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
The teen years are as stable as a bottle of nitroglycerin rolling around in the back of a pickup truck with leaf spring suspension. I guess you see the analogy alright, as in unstable.

His whole outlook on life is not stable, and neither was mine for example. I felt the urge to be different from my parents, which is probably natural as it readied me for leaving the nest with the right attitude. We can often think of our family as a bit nuts at that age, because we see their every foible. We don't see those same foibles in people we have not been around as closely as with our families. I know I wanted to keep some distance, mentally from my family. So, I did my own thing. They would be the last people to be nudists, but I was in secret.

For this teenage boy, being nude was far more comfortable alone, and out of sight. When he gets older and wiser, as well as more tolerant of others, then he can share his nudity with his family.

In other words, "situation normal."


"To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them."

George Mason



Country: USA | Posts: 1964 Go to Top of Page

Captain Pongo
New Member

Posted - 05/16/2009 :  4:25:19 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Situation normal seems to be right, because it's not just the nudism, it's the time of life. I was 'plagued' early on, but long before we had adapted the lifestyle. And to call those early experiences awkward would be a grand understatement, especially given at one point I thought I caused myself permanent damage ... ignorance will do that.

My mother was in the situation of also being my father when things like this 'plagued' me, and she confronted the issue with understanding and learning, so that even in a non-nudist environment as we were at the time, the rampaging hormones that made me the world's only freak (as I was convinced I was) became a life lesson. Once the doors of ignorance and awkwardness are opened and passed through, life made more sense, especially on the realization it is the most basic, fundamental aspect of life. And again, this was all pre-lifestyle.

Of course, that didn't rid me of moments of further awkwardness and extreme embarrassment (a night in front of the TV watching Wonder Woman is forever etched in my life experience), at least I understood what was happening to me, and why.

By the time the lifestyle was adapted, I was extremely secure about myself, very comfortable in only my skin, and relaxed enough to embrace the experiences I was having as being nothing but normal.

Arousal is normal, it's just that males have less ability to 'hide' it because of basic anatomy. I was 15-16 and suddenly going nude, it was exhilarating in every way. There were many times I would be aroused for long periods of time, sometimes with reason but most of the time not, lol. Even though the subject of masturbation had long since been addressed and demystified before going nude, I loved the feeling of being aroused. I had been walking around the house aroused before going nude, and was just as much afterwards.

It is a matter of comfort and freedom. If this 17 year old is suddenly feeling awkward, it may be an issue only he can deal with, keeping in my mind no two people are the same on any issue, much less in this lifestyle. Keep the lines of communication open, and know when to initiate a conversation to ease the situation.

Hope my ramblings helped.



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nudistgrrl
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Posted - 11/18/2009 :  9:57:19 PM  Show Profile  Visit nudistgrrl's Homepage  Reply with Quote
well, i know it may be diffrent from guy to girl... but if you have questions, feel free to ask me! :)

<3 Anna



Country: USA | Posts: 48 Go to Top of Page

n/a
deleted


Posted - 03/27/2012 :  11:36:50 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I know for me when I was 17 if I were to cover up it was more due to my parents did the same as I grew up they were not accepting of nudity unless it was for humor like to them it was gross if you openly walked out of the shower nude in front of the family but if you came out in a towel and it fell down and you left it off it was ok being it was making them laugh. Had my parents been more open to nudity itself I would have covered up less, the only other issue that made me cover up often was I was a late bloomer. So I felt odd being nude at the age of 16 having little to no pubic hair yet it was very emberrasing for me at the time.


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n/a
deleted


Posted - 10/27/2012 :  10:37:08 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I possibly also think with that family you are talking about where the mother was putting up a front is just fearful how others might view it if she was actually ok with family nudity. I am sure alot of families out there might be conservative in front of their freinds etc but at home among themselves are bit more open and relaxed about it. Most of my freinds that I know openly admit that nudity at home is no big deal but it isnt something that they share with others.


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