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 Unwanted Erection
 A simple question? Arousal and etiquette...
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Author Previous Topic: So I was thinking about becomming a nudist Topic Next Topic: My questions & problems wanting to be a nudist
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dville118
New Member

Posted - 09/06/2007 :  09:31:37 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I''m new to the forum here, but I've been lurking for about 2 days reading up on the nudist lifestyle to see if thats something that fits me.

I've been practicing whatever you would call it in my home (apparently after reading this its not nudism) since I've had my own home.. and in my room/private areas of the house when I lived with my parents. I''m in my 20s..

I did not read every post in this thread.. who could? I read a rather exhaustive beginning, and a less exhaustive ending.. I don't want to go into many details, I lay awake last night thinking about what to put here, part of me was angry, depressed.. I dunno.. so I''ll summarize it.

This thread.. has taken something from me.. my desire to be in any part of your communities or endorse the nudist lifestyle in any way. I THOUGHT.. nudism was about freedom of judgment, one is "out in the open" so to speak when they are nude around other people who are also nude, there is nothing to hide and I believed that this situation would keep people from judging people as most of society does.. apparently I''m wrong.. I get the sense that nudism is almost like a formal dance of some kind.. judging people as "pervert" or "sexual deviant" or even "pedophile" by something they have no control over.

I am a single male.. a virgin in fact (abstinence is the simplest way to avoid unwanted STDs or unprepared for children) So I feel that in any given setting erections would likely occur and would not be controllable. But this isn't about erections.. this is about what you think of people who are sexually aroused.. or thats the sense I get.

The only scenario I can come up with would be this:
If a single male finds himself at any public venue (be it clothed or not) and sees someone they think is attractive, they might want to initiate a conversation or perhaps get to know that person, with the intention of pursuing a more serious relationship, or just to get to know them. Often things like that work themselves out. Often times this initial physical attraction can lead to uncontrolled.. physical response.. Basically what you're all trying to say is that to be attracted to someone is wrong, and that to think that I should feel guilty or “sexually deviant” or some other kind of “bad person” because I am still in the age and part of my life that I am looking for a mate, even if it is subconsciously. I'm not “after” your children or going to run around propositioning people, thats absurd. If I'm a virgin at this point in my life I'm certainly not a sexual predator, but it seems by the ~420 posts in this thread that I've already been labeled bagged and thrown in the jail of your minds before I even get in to fully understand this lifestyle.. and thats why I feel like you've taken something from me.

If this thread is any representation of what nudism is, then its nothing more than the stressful quick judgment that I have encountered in the heavily Christian people that I have met over my young life. It reminds me too of the judgmental “cool kids” that were so prevalent in the public school systems.

I guess I'm not a nudist.. but then what am I? I'm sure some of you have a few labels for me..



Country: USA | Posts: 1 Go to Top of Page

CMx2
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Posted - 09/07/2007 :  07:01:37 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by dville118


I THOUGHT.. nudism was about freedom of judgment,




Nope.

Its about freedom from clothes.



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vlaka72
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Posted - 06/29/2008 :  03:51:38 AM  Show Profile  Visit vlaka72's Homepage  Send vlaka72 an AOL message  Reply with Quote
Having an erection is normal. Why should a man cover up, or roll over if he gets an erection? So what if a mans penis is sticking up ! What is so wrong or offensive with that? If he is masturbating, or fondling himself, then theres a problem.
If you dont want to see an erection, dont look at it, or dont go to a nude beach.

niko grossenbacher



Country: USA | Posts: 4 Go to Top of Page

vlaka72
New Member

Posted - 06/29/2008 :  03:57:55 AM  Show Profile  Visit vlaka72's Homepage  Send vlaka72 an AOL message  Reply with Quote
If I was to fart at a nude beach or resort, should I get kicked out for that? Like farting, an erection is normal. Everyone should stop thinking "if a man gets an erection", and move on. If a man gets an erection on a nude beach or resort, so damn what? Nothing wrong with that.

niko grossenbacher



Country: USA | Posts: 4 Go to Top of Page

Cheri
Forum Member


Posted - 06/29/2008 :  11:06:22 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
vlaka, I guess you've not read any of the preceding 28 pages.


Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
-
http://pages.prodigy/cheridonna



Country: USA | Posts: 3519 Go to Top of Page

zxfer
New Member

Posted - 07/13/2008 :  11:23:26 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Well after 3 cups of coffee to read all the post here I actually became motivated enough to register so I could post. I've been visiting a while reading the odd thread here and there. I have to say however that this one has been the most entertaining.

I'm your typical 29 year old guy, I've only been to a nude beach 3 times, yet rarely wear clothes at home. I'm getting ready to have my first visit to a nude resort and spend about a week there, with the goal of not putting on any clothes for the duration.

However I do have an interesting story that is along the threads lines.

The first trip to the beach I had no problems with an erection. However the second time I had something rather embarassing happen. I had brought a folding lounge chair my sun glasses and my ipod to just relax and take it easy. Figured I'd work on a bit of a tan. So I'm sitting there and a lady walks up and says " Can you hide your hard on, I've been watching you for 10 minutes and it's rude to just show it off." Now I should explain about myself, I'm rather large, about 6in in length when I'm not excited. Lets just say that when I am, its much, much more obvious. Now the interesting thing at that time was, I wasnt excited. I had shifted it from hanging down to resting on the area where you leg meets your hip, because it was a hot day and it felt like the top was burning a bit. As a result to this ladies comment I wrapped/twisted it around my finger showing it was soft well telling her " If I was hard you'd know." I mean for someone to do that I thought was very rude. I really was embarrassed and angry about it. Because of it, I didnt go back for 3 years.

The third trip I had a problem to. But nothing rude and self righteous as that lady was or at least seemed. Same chair and Ipod but new sunglasses! I decided it was time to give it a try again. So I'm on the beach and its a mild day. Sunny warm and gorgeous but not as blistering as the last time I went. I was fine till I saw a woman that I cant even put into words. The type that is so stunning to look at you actually end up holding your breath while you are. Needless to say what happened then. It might not have been instant, but it seemed darn close to it. Sure enough, I was "standing tall". The beach had few people on it, a few of the ladies looking my way as I got up and walked the 20 or so feet to the water, pointing the whole way. They smiled, one waved. But nothing was said and I wouldnt consider that last trip a bad experience.

I throw those two experiences out there because after reading some of the posts here I have to admit, I dont know if I should hide, be ashamed, never leave the water or just sit there and let whoever look till it goes away. I'm comfortable with who I am and could care less if people see me nude excited or not. However I do care about offending people without the intent to. I know that throughout the day I will get multiple erections, reading the paper, watching tv, driving the car. I will not say I have "no" control over it. But it happens all the time with my clothes on and from reading this it makes me a little nervous about what I was thinking may be a great week spent discovering if its really for me with no worries. After all its not that easy to hide when it happens.

---Yes I had to go back and edit for spelling its early here



Edited by - zxfer on 07/13/2008 11:28:06 AM

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vlaka1972
New Member

Posted - 08/02/2008 :  08:28:33 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
people should not make such a big deal about erections at a nude beach or nude resort, and an erection is not bad mannors, so if a lady comes up to a man with an erection, she should not say to him to cover it up, or get rude. If her nipples gets hard, should a man come up to a lady and tell her to cover up her hard nipples?
Also, cheri. Yes there are nude photos around the web of me. Yes some are with erections. Dont go telling everyone here things to make me look bad. Do I have erect pics of me on this site? What I do elsewhere is my f****** business.
So grow up about this erection thing. Also the carolina foothills resort kicked me out because I am a single. No I did not try to hook up with you, and no one in their right mind would. also you posted that i sent a email from kelly kursey at where ever dot com??? what e3vcer



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Cheri
Forum Member


Posted - 08/02/2008 :  09:14:26 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Vlaka, Carolina Foothills is VERY single friendly. In fact, some singles are members of the boards. You were acting inappropriately around children. THAT and only THAT is the reason for your being removed off their welcome list. A woman's nipples are not a sign of arousal all the time. READ the multitude of pages of this thread and the other two to which you posted.
Cheri

Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
-
http://pages.prodigy/cheridonna



Country: USA | Posts: 3519 Go to Top of Page

triano1000
New Member

Posted - 08/11/2008 :  02:12:45 AM  Show Profile  Send triano1000 an AOL message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CMx2

quote:
Originally posted by dville118


I THOUGHT.. nudism was about freedom of judgment,




Nope.

Its about freedom from clothes.



Nudism is about freedom from judgment, cmx2. Judgmental behavior is a reaction based entirely in fear, the emotion opposite from love. The nudist manifesto (if one existed) would consist of guidelines built upon a system of neither restrictions nor boundaries, and would instead be ruled by love: by openness, caring, and acceptance without judgment. One is not a nudist to be without clothes, one is a nudist to be without the stigma of nakedness, without the judgment of the clothed population who would label those existing naturally and without shame of their bodies as evil, sinful, and without moral fiber. So the clothes came off, and with them, for nudists, that sense of persecution. A nudist is proud of their body, and sees ABSOLUTELY NOTHING 'WRONG' WITH IT. That includes when it is hungry, tired, or even (oh no!) sexually stimulated. What part of sexuality should children be afraid of? A better question, perhaps, is what part of your sexuality are YOU afraid of? Again, this is FEAR we see in your posts; not love.

If a man experiences sexual arousal in a nudist setting, why would he feel ashamed of it? Because there are children present? He is making no advances to the children, nor your attractive (or unattractive, it makes no difference) wife, he is not slapping you in the face with it...he's merely experiencing a NATURAL bodily occurrence. And if he and a partner were to make love on the beach, I assume you would naturally take offense to this NATURAL display of physical and emotional affection from one human being to another..! NO this is not the topic, but in a way, it IS. What you are objecting to is the associations YOU have with sex, and the things you have learned to fear about it...NOT with the physical or psychological manifestation of love we call sex--for if that were the case (the latter), i assume you would have taken a vow of celebacy long ago (to your own detriment, assuredly).

Whatever the reasons you have for being so afraid of sex and of the erect penis in an environment supposedly devoid of bodily shame is your issue, and by definition, irrelevant to the discussion. The fact is, erections happen because of environmental stimuli of all sorts, including the sight of a vagina, or breasts, or another penis. There is NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. 'Right' and 'wrong,' 'good' and 'bad' are simply words used to express subjective prejudices, which change from country to country, people to people, house to house, and person to person. No, we do not live in a 'perfect' world...but then again, perhaps we do! How do you know the present state of propriety is not someone's PRECISE definition of paradise on earth? Perhaps it is. And what of my concept of utopia? Certainly is is dissimilar to yours. So whose utopia is best, i ask you, and thus, whose must be accepted by all, lest they be ostracized and persecuted for not recognizing the great utopia that has come?

I tell you this, for this is wisdom: at the root of all things, there is either fear or love. Fear allows us to close down, to bottle up, to judge and accept judgment. In nudism, it is proper to throw off the yoke of judgment from the clothed population, and in doing so, construct a new concept of propriety. Why, then, would one exercising freedom restrict their own freedom by enforcing a new system of propriety, now restricting the possible ACTIVITY and RESPONSES of the nude body, in order to weed out the 'perverts' and 'sexual deviants' that we might 'protect our kids.' Gosh, that argument sounds familiar, doesn't it? It sounds like something a clothed person would say...

to a nudist.


Know Thyself



Country: USA | Posts: 2 Go to Top of Page

Cheri
Forum Member


Posted - 08/11/2008 :  4:41:34 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
triano, Nudism is NOT about freedom from judgment. It's about de-stressing, relaxation, and getting back to innocence. It's about accepting your body type and all others for who the people are behind the bodies and not what they own or wear.

Your profile lists you as being 21. Wait a few years; in about 10 years when you've experienced a few more nudist venues, a few more years of life, etc. what your feelings might be.

CMX2 is not afraid of life. They're interested in maintaining our nudist venues since some HAVE been closed due to overt sexuality.
Cheri

Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
-
http://pages.prodigy/cheridonna



Country: USA | Posts: 3519 Go to Top of Page

Pete Knight
Forum Member


Posted - 08/12/2008 :  2:53:12 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Oh dear, I see the pro-boner brigade are back in town, when will they ever learn!

I would equate an erection with bad table manners, they happen but are not socially acceptable, hells teeth, we're having enough problems trying to get nudity accepted and these morons are asking for erectile acceptance, heaven help us, a sure way to get nudist beaches closed down is to walk around with a boner, anyway whats wrong with a little discretion.

When we get wholesale acceptance for nudism then you can wave the erection flag (Pun intended.), meanwhile keep it under wraps.

Pete Knight






Country: United Kingdom | Posts: 297 Go to Top of Page

triano1000
New Member

Posted - 08/12/2008 :  9:29:14 PM  Show Profile  Send triano1000 an AOL message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Cheri

triano, Nudism is NOT about freedom from judgment. It's about de-stressing, relaxation, and getting back to innocence. It's about accepting your body type and all others for who the people are behind the bodies and not what they own or wear.

Your profile lists you as being 21. Wait a few years; in about 10 years when you've experienced a few more nudist venues, a few more years of life, etc. what your feelings might be.

CMX2 is not afraid of life. They're interested in maintaining our nudist venues since some HAVE been closed due to overt sexuality.
Cheri

Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
-
http://pages.prodigy/cheridonna




allow me to spot the glaring inconsistencies:

first you say nudism isn't about freedom from judgment. now, honestly, have you ever felt good about being judged or judging others? honestly, now? no, of course you haven't. and yet, apparently, you desire a system in which judging others is okay.

fine, if that speaks to Who You Are then go ahead. of course that's not what we say about ourselves, is it? we, as a society (nude or clothed) SAY we want to be accepting and loving and nurture individuality...oh, except those people over there, you know, the ones who look 'funny' or act 'funny'...like the ones NOT WEARING CLOTHES.

but i digress...THEN you state a DIRECT CONTRADICTION, in the same sentence, by saying that nudism isn't about nonjendgmentalism but is SOMEHOW IS about getting rid of stress, relaxing, and getting back to 'innocence.' what is this innocence you speak of? what era did innocence exist in, i wonder, that you feel the need to rush back to it? and what builds stress? is it allowing your choices and the choices of others build on your perceptions in a loving environment of one-ness with life...OR is it about allowing judgment and negativity and pessimism and worry and fear and anger cloud your knowledge of Who You Are and Who You Are Trying to Be and thus, you need to 'un-wind.' what has wound you up so much, cheri?

and is it the sight of an erect penis that's going to drive you right over the edge? where is your boundary, what is the edge?

WHY HAVE AN 'EDGE,' A CLIFF, A PLACE OF RESTRICTION? has that served you in your life to bring about happiness, thus far?

then you say that the reason nudist venues are closing (closed by what authority, i wonder. clothed people?) is because of overt sexuality. what constitutes 'overt?' is it my definition or yours? or neither?

and if closed-minded, unhappy, fearful people close up a nudist venue...was it really that 'safe' or 'free' to begin with?

Know Thyself



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Stars Upon Thars
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Posted - 08/24/2008 :  02:45:30 AM  Show Profile  Send Stars Upon Thars an AOL message  Reply with Quote
Uh, oh! Look what I'm doing! Posting again after a three-year hiatus. I would have been back sooner but I forgot my login information for the longest time and I finally remembered it the other day, so hooray!

Why am I posting in this thread, of all threads? Well here's why. I made a lengthy post (no pun intended) earlier in this topic because at that point I was researching nudism - I wanted to do it, but I hadn't tried it yet, and like many people this was one of my concerns. I was very put off by this topic and frankly it made me frightened to try public nudism. I have to drive a long way to be able to go nude, and if I got kicked out for an unwanted erection it was going to be a lot of wasted gas to go with my embarrassment!

However, I am no longer inexperienced, so I am here to share a little bit on the subject. Fortunately, the clothes-minded (pun intended this time) view of a lot of people here was not enough to put me off of trying nudism, and I have been to two different resorts in the last year. That may not be much, but like I said, I live far away from them and I don't have a lot of cash. I figured maybe everyone was right - that it wouldn't really happen and if I could get past the first 20 minutes I'd be fine. In fact, the office manager at the first place I visited told me the same thing, that after 20 minutes I'd get used to it and there wouldn't be any issues.

These people know best, I figured. They are experienced. So I gave it a whirl. And what do you know, I have proven from personal experience that people who say "Don't worry about it, it won't happen" are not just avoiding the issue, they are straight up ignoring the facts. ERECTIONS. It wasn't because I was turned on by seeing naked people. In fact, there were two very beautiful young adult girls about my age there that day and that didn't give me any trouble. It was just... kind of random actually. When I would lie down in the sun, it would happen. Sometimes walking around, and there was absolutely no way I could use the exercise bike. Forget about it! I'm 22 years old, a virgin, and I get erections when I am nude at home all alone, or under a canopy of trees in my back yard. There's really nothing I can do about it, not much rhyme or reason to it.

Of course I was frightened of being kicked out, so I did the best I could. Stayed in the water a lot, sat cross-legged with my book to avoid suspicion, you know. All the things they tell you to do in nudist FAQ's. Somehow I managed to stand in line for concessions and did okay with that. The point is, it didn't end up being a very relaxing experience. My fears were confirmed - I didn't feel free to lay out or work out or do what I wanted in the nude, because there was always that pesky erection issue tugging at me. When I came back to talk to the office manager at the end of the day, he asked if I felt comfortable after 20 minutes or so, and I said not really. I didn't go into details, but I tried to be honest about the fact that it's not exactly what everyone told me it would be.

Now - I have to balance this report with some good news. Not one to be daunted (because I really do like nudism), I decided to try again. This time, I figured, I have some experience under my proverbial belt, and now that I've been naked in front of people before maybe it will get easier. So I find a different resort, called ahead, planned my visit, and went off. I had a MUCH better experience at this second resort. It wasn't as crowded and the people were very nice and welcoming. I actually had conversations! I was the youngest person there by probably 25 years, but I didn't let that bother me. I made up my mind that I would not worry about what other people would think of me. I was doing it for my own edification and I would not give a second thought to what I looked like naked or who else was or what was going on downstairs. And for the most part, it was successful. I went through practically the whole day without any problems. The hot tub was a little concerning, but I managed to get out that with only a semi.

I talked with a long-time member, probably in his 60's. We had a good little conversation and he told me a bit about the place and some of the places he'd been. He was very understanding, and he said that the people at that resort were a pretty close-knit, open-minded bunch and that as long as there weren't kids around no one would mind if someone had an erection. Said some of the older folks actually liked to see it cause it reminded them of their younger days. Now that is the kind of balanced nudist outlook that I can support! It really made me more optimistic about the whole thing and I will definitely go back there if I get the chance.

So why do I say all this? I apologize to nudist hopefuls if I've scared you off, but I won't the one to sugar-coat the truth. That is that in some cases nudism isn't all it's cracked up to be. There are real issues to deal with, it may not be as easy getting started as you've been led to believe, and double standards do apply. The truth is that a large contingency of naturists aren't really ready for naturism. However, there are also those who are more understanding; and if threads like this one scare you away, respectfully defy both your fears and their expectations and do it anyway.

---

Now I'd like to talk to younger nudists like myself, because we are the declining population. Everyone knows that nudists are mostly old folks. It shouldn't be true, but it is, and frankly, as "kids" we don't want to play by their rules. But if nudism is going to have any future it's going to have to be through us. We have to be the ones to begin anew, maybe start with college based clubs and non-landed functions in our own areas, making our own rules, if any. We have to be the ones to revive the idea and give rise to a new generation of nudists. Of course it's harder than it sounds, and I welcome ideas for getting involved in my own community. But I see no alternative to this if we are going to change things.

Throughout this thread I've been hearing things like this:
"Simple ettiquete I guess has to be learned as they get oder. Some on this thread are not as yet 25 years old."

You're right, and don't you want more of those people are not as yet 25 years old? Or do you not care? Do you believe nudism is inherently a retirees' activity? Don't look down on the youth or the youth will abandon your cause.

To the guy from Sunsport Gardens, you seem like a really cool guy with your head screwed on straight. If I ever get down to Fl. I'll make it a point to visit.



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nudeisbetter
Forum Member

Posted - 08/25/2008 :  09:11:01 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I wonder if this turns up only if you're looking for it? The place we go this has never been an issue in all the times we've been there. It's never discussed, it never happens, it's a non-issue.




Country: USA | Posts: 112 Go to Top of Page

timelord
New Member

Posted - 10/28/2008 :  2:09:16 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Cheri:"A woman's nipples are not a sign of arousal all the time"


This is so funny, so your are saying that women can be aroused some of the time but it's OK.

While men who have erections but not being aroused is not the same.

that try this different view

Womans Perspective:
"A woman's nipples are not a sign of arousal all the time"

Now, lets change the gender:
"A woman's nipples erection are not a sign of arousal all the time"

I see sexual discrimination, because we were born with a penis.

What needs to happen is female nudist education,
Each and every person body reacts differently to different stimuli, being visual, or touch.
Women's nipples react to cold, aroused or touch
men's react, to hormones, arousal or touch.

I understand some women may get offended, then look the other way, who said to stare.
when this stigma disappears, more men especially the younger ones will participate and truly enjoy the freedom.

I have spoken, and yes I still get the unwanted erection occasionally, I don't care







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