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asmodee
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 Posted - 01/13/2007 : 10:06:41 AM
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I have been posting a bit but realized today that I had inadvertently hijacked someone else's thread, so I am starting my own to continue the conversation. I welcome comments from anyone who finds the conversation interesting.
Where I left the conversation in the wrong thread was a question about taking the kids to a clothing optional resort. My wife and I are not quite to that point yet, but she is definitely not opposed to the idea of nudism. I think she has some reservations about her body, which, of course, makes no difference to nudists at all, but it does to her.
The reason for a clothing optional resort is that I do not want to force nudism on the kids. If they are comfortable with it, wonderful. If they are not, they would not have to be nude.
Here was the question. When planning the trip, should we try to get the kids used to the idea first by explaining it to them in advance and let them run around the house nude first? Should we not mention anything until we are on the way and then tell them what they can expect when we get there? Or should we just go and not even mention it like there is nothing unusual about the trip and just answer their questions as they arise?
I know that the kids are not exactly going to be traumatized however we do it, but I want to make them as comfortable as possible with the idea should we decide to take such a trip. That decision is entirely up to my wife. She has to be comfortable with it before we even get the kids involved of course.
Notice: This moderator, operating under username 'Moderator', has been terminated for repeatedly censoring or altering posts without providing a clear indication of which policy was being enforced. Her actions were not sanctioned by this organization.
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Edited by - Moderator on 01/13/2007 10:15:50 AM
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Corasol
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Posted - 01/13/2007 : 11:30:07 AM
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Hi asmodee,
First question, what is the age of your kids ?
Kids are usualy the extensions of the parents... if its OK with both of you, it will be OK for them also...
Kids just like adults (because we are oldler kids also) have difficulty with situation which are not used to... This is called the fear of the "unknowed"... when we are not used to it...
Let your heart speak... the answer is within you...
Cheers
born to be free
Corasol
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Mnstnz
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Posted - 01/13/2007 : 12:14:02 PM
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Asmodee, Being in a somewhat similar situation, I will offer this. I am very comfortable with nudism, my wife is not for her personally. She is not against it for me or others. She and i went to a park late last fall. It was our first time anywhere besides being nude at home. It is our preference to go to a clothing optional place. After our visit we discussed our thoughts and feelings on it. We have a 16 Y.O. daughter and I asked her her opinion on her going also. The wife said it would be ok with her if the daughter wanted to. Our daughter is not open with nudity at home either, allowences are made for everyone's comfort here. We asked the daughter how she felt about going. She said she would like to sometime. I said all this to say that if possible I feel you should discuss it with the kids first. No one likes being forced into something and should not be. Giving them the option at a park or resort is a great start. By starting at home you can make everything more comfortable for all.
P.S. Thanks iamRoy for the group link.
Dan
Peace and Long life to all
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Edited by - Mnstnz on 01/13/2007 12:21:33 PM |
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DenitaLC
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Posted - 01/13/2007 : 12:23:37 PM
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Most nude resorts (from what I've read/heard) have a policy that minors can remained clothed as long as they want or even the entire visit. Adults are usually given an adjustment period to get comfortable and gradually undress but are expected to fully unrobe after this adjustment time. Of course, a clothing optional resort would not have that policy but be aware that most will not allow any bathing suits in their pools/hot tubs.
If your children are younger, they will adjust quicker than say, teens. I would tell them that you are going to a place where it is OK to be naked. Our kids found out that the nude beach was pretty nice when they weren't faced with sand in their suits all day!
As for your wife, once she sees that the people at a resort are just that: people...I think she will feel much more comfortable with her own body. Start a conversation with other resort visitors...you won't find a nicer bunch of people!
Have fun!
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asmodee
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Posted - 01/13/2007 : 12:24:58 PM
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Sorry, everyone. I forgot that starting my own thread meant re-stating things I had stated before in the incorrect thread.
My kids are 1 year old girl, 4 1/2 year old boy, 6 year old girl and 9 year old boy. The girl is already modest, not wanting her brothers to see her, but she will actually ask to take a bath with her younger brother. Due to circumstances in our life, we have probably inadvertently drummed in modesty more than we intended to, especially with our 6 year old. I do not wish to restate the circumstances, but if you search by author for 'pictures' you can find the other thread. The thread was originally about what was and was not proper in nudist photography, which is what my original post was about, but I tend to ramble and go off on a tangent when I am typing and inevitably the end will be nothing like the beginning.
I might also mention a little about myself and my wife. We are not nudist/naturists, but I have had an interest in it for years and have been reading threads, posts and stories off and on for some time. I talked to the wife the other night about it for the first time (for the first time seriously. We did experiment very little before kids). She really never does give me much feedback, so I never know what she is thinking, but she is more than willing to give it a try. At this point I don't know if she intends to include the kids or not. We have a camping trip tentatively planned for this summer sometime.
I would like to note that my relationship with my wife is not strained, as you might assume from the comment above. She just doesn't express her feelings much. About the most I could get was, 'sounds like fun.' I know from experience that she actually believes she has told me how she feels with that simple comment. She is a wonderful woman and an awesome mother. I am about the luckiest man alive to find a woman who is willing to put up with me for the rest of my life.
It is also worth noting that I do not have any overpowering desire to include the kids. If they want to join in, that would be great. If not, I want to respect their desires, though I would hope it would be simply because they are not interested, not because they have any misgivings about their bodies or nudism or because we have gone too far to drum in modesty.
Since we had our first kid I can probably count the number of times we have done anything without the kids on my fingers, and those times all we did was lament about how much the kids would like this or that. If we did take a trip without the kids we would have to be gone no more than a day or two or we would go insane missing them, so I guess I do have a desire to include the kids after all, but clothing optional would probably take care of that.
That should be enough info to get you started. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask away. I am very much enjoying the conversations I am having with the various people on this board.
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ggwydion
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Posted - 01/13/2007 : 2:26:11 PM
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My wife and I do not have children yet so that fact in mind I am not sure if I can offer you any advice. That said, I would allow the children to run nude in the house first. I am sure that the young ones will adjust quickly, even the shy one. I have seen this happen offen at clothing optional events that I have attended in the past. Mabey you could make an event out of it? Some sort of comming out game mabey? Anyone else have any ideas?
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jim19452
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Posted - 01/13/2007 : 3:47:56 PM
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asmodee, Locate some nudist resorts near you and telephone/email them about clothing requirements for the children. Well before your first nudist visit, explain to the kids of your plan to go to a place where people go around naked and what your and the resort's expectations are regarding the kids nudity.
We took our two children (beginning at ages 6 and 2) to communal, mixed sex baths in Japan and they adapted well. They knew what the drill was before we went.
I would encourage them to run around naked in the house, at least for short periods of time. Mother will be the important example so encourage her to do the same and get nude first. Make sure you remain private in your house.
Best Wishes, Jim
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StuffedTiger
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Posted - 01/13/2007 : 5:28:37 PM
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Items for your consideration:
Kids not potty trained will likely have to wear swim diapers and/or a waterproof diaper covering in the pool, unless you are at a nudist beach. Check the website or ask the resort for their exact requirements.
Children often enjoy new experiences more than their parents might think. Still, I would do a little pre-planning of activities ahead of time. Many resorts have web sites. That can help you plan. Even better, if you can go there ahead of time for a tour, why not? Find out if and when other children will be there. If there are nudist children there, they will likely be in clothes or not throughout the day, depending on what they are doing. Your children may then feel more comfortable with both getting nude or staying dressed.
There will likely be many things your family can do clothing optional.
At a nudist resort, park or other facility, nudity will usually be required in the pool, hot tub and sauna but will probably be optional elsewhere. Check with the resort. You and your family may find themselves more comfortable at a nudist resort where nudity is required for sanitary reasons in the pool, hot tub and sauna, but is not required and is instead clothing optional elsewhere, as is typical.
Without clothes, pool water is much more quickly sanitized. For example, bathing suits trap all kinds of bacteria, tiny mites and worms and other gop. That adds a huge amount of pollution and prevents harmful germs and parasites from being quickly done away with.
In Norway, Saunas have been used for birthing babies for centuries; they are sterile places. That sterility is lost if people go in them in clothing. For example, clothing is full of dust mites we pick up from furniture. Our naked body, on the other hand, sheds less than a surgeon in scrubs because clothing rubs off the upper layers.
If you plan on using the climbing, sliding, swinging play equipment there, check out the type and condition of the equipment. There, the kids may need to wear clothing of one kind or another to safely use the equipment. There is nothing wrong with throwing on a pair of shorts or jeans, shoes or sandals.
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nudeisntlewd
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Posted - 01/13/2007 : 6:28:18 PM
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My number one suggestion is first and foremost this:
Don't surprise them and tell them when you are on the way or when you get there. I can't imagine a revelation like that. It may not only turn them off to it, but then you will have to deal with unhappy and uncomfortable kids all weekend. Nobody will have fun if they are unhappy. Telling them of your plans first will let you see any reaction so you can talk to them.
If any of them have a problem with the idea, maybe they could spend the weekend with relatives or a friend. When the rest of you get back who knows, maybe the other kids will convince them it was fun without you even having to sell them on the idea. I just wouldn’t push them into it. It needs to be their choice. If siblings like it, they probably will give it a try too.
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Cheri
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Posted - 01/14/2007 : 11:53:10 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by ggwydion
My wife and I do not have children yet so that fact in mind I am not sure if I can offer you any advice. That said, I would allow the children to run nude in the house first. I am sure that the young ones will adjust quickly, even the shy one. I have seen this happen offen at clothing optional events that I have attended in the past. Mabey you could make an event out of it? Some sort of comming out game mabey? Anyone else have any ideas?
Since your children are still in the planning stage, it will be wonderful for you to bring them up in a nudist household. That means you and your wife will not be clothed unless you are chilled or cooking or have visitors or doing yard work (and probably other reasons).
When you make no big deal about the nudity and if it's a common thing in your household, there should be no problem in transitioning the children to social nudity.
Cheri
Doing what I can to positively promote nudism
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Tuffers
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Posted - 01/14/2007 : 12:07:44 PM
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Hi Asmodee
It strikes me that your children are young enough to adapt and once they see other children playing in the nude they will soon want to join in. As has already been stated, you and your wife both need to be comfortable with nudism so that the children don't get negative vibes. We brought up two kids as naturists and it wasn't until they were both well in their teens that they decided to find other things to do whilst we went to our club. Nudity around the house did not stop however, with no embarassment or shyness.
Good luck. The Spring is just around the corner so you can put it to the test.
Mike
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Nudony
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Posted - 01/14/2007 : 2:23:59 PM
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This link gives awesome advice as far as how to introduce your kids to the idea of nudism:
http://www.armage.demon.co.uk/nuff/children/tell/index.html
According to most of the reports I've heard, there is a very good chance that the boys will go for it, and will be nude within minutes of reaching the pool area. Your daughter's reaction will be primarily determined by your wife's; so bring the sarongs and T-shirts just in case.
But I think you should definitely try to bring the kids along, as nudism is something best experinced with the entire family.
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asmodee
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Posted - 01/14/2007 : 5:46:05 PM
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Based on some of the responses I see that my intentions were not entirely clear. The only way I would even consider taking my children without discussing it with them first and getting their approval is if it were clothing optional. Even if we have discussed it in advance, the first time will still be clothing optional just because I have no intention of forcing my children into a situation which is uncomfortable for them.
The reason for the question was that someone, at some point, had mentioned that you should not make a big deal of it. My only though about telling them on the way or not mentioning it at all would be to show up at a clothing optional resort, where they would see other people nude and kids playing nude. They would surely ask about this, at which point I would explain to them that you don't have to wear clothes here if you don't want to. The point was to make it sort of matter-of-fact rather than hyped and, without influence from me at all, they could make their own decision.
I want to be perfectly clear that, at any point, if my children are not comfortable being nude, they will be clothed, regardless the rules of the facility. Maybe that will mean they can't get into the pool or maybe even can't leave the room. Maybe it will even mean we will have to leave early, losing a deposit or something. It does not matter, so long as my children are happy and not uncomfortable.
That being said, I think it is clear, based on the responses, that I should discuss it with them in advance and let them get used to it at home. First, however, I need to discuss it more with my wife. And, of course, get some thicker curtains!
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Mnstnz
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Posted - 01/14/2007 : 6:39:29 PM
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asmosdee, you seem to have a very good handle on what you need. As far as the resort goes you make some good points. I think the thing of being comfortable at home first would help them seeing their parents go nude without being surprised. Make it a gradual thing at home and your right don't make a big deal of it, just let it happen. Good luck and lots of happiness you you and yours.
Dan
Peace and Long life to all
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StuffedTiger
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Posted - 01/15/2007 : 01:58:11 AM
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Good luck Asmodee. :-) Listening to your caring and considerate approach, as well as your moral, balanced and educational motivations, I think over time you all will be very happy to have had this kind of bonding, family oriented, little adventure.
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asmodee
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Posted - 01/15/2007 : 5:16:10 PM
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You know, this is one of the major things that attracts me to nudism. Is there no such thing as a nudist a-hole or what? Everybody here has been absolutely wonderful as I am pouring my heart out and figuring out exactly what it is I want. I have to tell you, your advice and encouragements really mean a lot to me and I appreciate it very much. The only thing left to figure out is exactly how my wife feels about it. I guess that for that, I'm on my own! Thanks, everyone.
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Kids & nudism for a new nudist
