| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
nudistmormon
Forum Member
|
 Posted - 10/16/2016 : 12:40:50 PM
|
i have been on here a few years under this screen name and one other. discovered long before this forum existed that i like being a naturist. heres where the issue arose for me back in 2009 i got back together with a girl i had dated off and on through high school, all was well until she found out im a naturist and then she did all kinds of searches on me and discovered, well that i had a life while we had been apart. she thew a fit over most of it especially because i have some photos of myself (yes nude photos of myself)on my computer and there are a few online, never cared much if people saw them, never cared if anyone has seen me naked. i have always felt the true me is a nude me. we split 3 years ago and now i am starting to feel ashamed of my body, of any photo,in any state of undress. im ashamed of myself in general. part of me keeps saying shes gone now dont worry but part of me cant get over the hell i went through just being comfortable being me. sorry for complaining, just needed to vent.
Mike
Not new here, I usd to have the s/n loves2bnude
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 60 |
|
|
FireProf
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/16/2016 : 1:10:00 PM
|
I think I can understand your situation partially. Though I'm/we're not in your situation regarding a love life, we do have very, very close friends that seem to have issue with nudity. I/we wonder what would happen if and when they finally find out that we are nudists and have been for over 40 years, 30 years or more of that time, we've been close friends!
We speculate that they will be upset and may not want to be friends anymore. I suspect that if they did any research, they may find that there are nude pictures of me, mostly, on the internet. We've come to the honest fact that if they can't deal with our being nudists and they can no longer be friends, they were never, ever really good friends in the first place.
With regards to your lost relationship with this woman ... being true to yourself is paramount in any relationship. There is compromise in every successful relationship but those where one tries to change the other person into who they really want ... never works out. You will become someone you are not if you allow that to happen.
You need to listen to the part of you that tells you that "she's gone now and don't worry," if she couldn't at least discuss this issue with you and try and understand your view of the lifestyle, then you're better off apart and not in a relationship.
Be true to yourself, be yourself and live the life you want for yourself.
Loves being naked. Plays well with others!
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 3175 |
 |
|
|
oldnudyman
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/16/2016 : 5:37:05 PM
|
FireProf gave you some good advice. I also have many friends who would not agree with what I believe in, but I live my life as honestly as I can and if it meant losing some of these friends I would deal with it. Most important in your situation is that you are honest and need to be proud of that. Don't dwell on the past, but pick up where you want to be and pursue it. Nudity and the nudist lifestyle is NOT BAD and just because others don't subscribe to it means that it is wrong. I always thought that because I was a Catholic that I was committing sin and that the Catholic Church condemned it. Not true! What they condemn is when the nudity leads to lustful behavior, voyeurism, or exhibitionism. Don't let guilt get to you. It's a wonderful feeling to shed your clothes and socialize with others.
|
|
Country:
| Posts: 60 |
|
|
|
rkitek
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/17/2016 : 2:51:12 PM
|
When it comes to others in our life finding out we're naturist, just remember this; the ones that matter won't mind, and the ones that mind, don't matter.
|
Edited by - rkitek on 10/17/2016 2:51:39 PM |
|
Country:
| Posts: 109 |
|
|
|
soonbnude
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/18/2016 : 08:19:56 AM
|
The guys above have given you some good advice. What if she found out you had different religious beliefs or that you part of the flat earth society. You've not broken any laws, you haven't harmed her, you have kept a secret about your private life that probably lots of us do not advertise to the world for fear of being judged or shunned or maybe even discriminated against in some ways.
Seems to me lots of people have the wrong idea about nudism / naturalism due to their own hang ups, fears, ignorance or whatever. Some of the other stuff on the web probably doesn't help. Its about education, a bit like teaching tolerance and acceptance.
SBN.
|
|
Country: Australia
| Posts: 437 |
|
|
|
nudistmormon
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/18/2016 : 10:31:08 AM
|
thanks for the advice all, to be honest, i keep looking at how i like living my life and despite some issues here and there, i see no wrong in my own simple nudity as i have made known in this and other posts, i have nude photos of myself. not 1 of the photos is in any way sexual (unless you consider playing guitar,reading or meditating to be sexual) some of he photos are online, do i care that some are online? for he most part no, never really cared until she came back into my life. spent some time looking at the 2 that infuriated her most and still cant see what there is to be upset about. both photos i have a guitar in hand. if i could id post them and see if someone could help figure out why they made her so mad. in all honesty, me wearing clothes is the biggest and longest running lie i have ever told, i tell it every day and hate it.
Not new here, I usd to have the s/n loves2bnude
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 60 |
|
|
|
Nude in AK
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/18/2016 : 11:21:49 AM
|
As others have said 'I do not let what others think of being nude". Yes there are some that want little to do with me, since they found out I liked being nude more often then not, but that is just the way it is. I also have people that I know that are also like me and we get along just fine.
If the girl friend can not expect you like being nude, then maybe it is time to do some soul searching.
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 538 |
|
|
|
Bill Bowser
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/18/2016 : 5:04:50 PM
|
As a fellow I used to work with often said "Life is choices." When faced with a dilemma such as yours, one must determine which option is more important. The relative importance can only be based on ones personal value system. If your naturism is important to you, and the lady is adamantly opposed to it, then it's time to say goodbye to her.
After my wife died and I started dating I always told my dates that I was a nudist, so they could bail out before things got serious if they didn't approve. Only a few were disturbed by my lifestyle. Most didn't care, but a few also tried naturism for themselves.
Bill Bowser - Cincinnati
Not lewd, not crude, just nude.
Nudists are everywhere, but they're hard to identify with their clothes on.
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 345 |
|
|
|
rooftopwilly
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/18/2016 : 5:53:53 PM
|
When my wife and I split, she tried to use my nudism against me. She tried to make me sound like a sexual deviant for being naked around our daughter (even though she was the one that encouraged me to do it when our daughter was born). I was feeling a bit guilty and ashamed for a while afterwards too, and deleted some of my nude photos. But I came to realize that it was HER issue, not mine. I'm a nudist, and I'll continue to be a nudist.
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 1235 |
|
|
|
Warmskin
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/18/2016 : 9:40:22 PM
|
As wonderful and sublime as nudism or naturism is, there are times it can be anywhere from a bit inconvenient to painful depending on our life situation, proclivities, and preferences. For that matter, any preference can be troublesome if a girl/boyfriend does not share that with you.
Losing a loving person is very painful; it sure has happened to me. It feels like someone ripped the guts right out of me. I tell myself to do some simple math. How many people live in the USA? 320 million. How many are single women my age? How many live near me? Are there some that would be okay with nudism? Being objective for a moment helps calm me down and re-introduces me to reality. Love can put us into an alternative universe at times.
I often ask myself, "What is the likely type of women that would be okay or fine with nudism, or would be adventurous enough to at least try it for a day at home?" That can be a difficult question to answer. All types of women are capable of liking nudism. Nudist resorts seem to show this. There is not just one type.
Be yourself, believe in yourself as a good and decent person. I assume you are religious and have good morals in your relationship with God and mankind. That can be a good foundation to maintain self-respect, and can convey to others that you're a good guy.
Perhaps you can find women who are more open-minded about your lifestyle, and are receptive your to your inclination to enjoy being free of clothing. Your Creator made you the way you are. You are complete. Clothing is just an add-on.
You might brainstorm to think of sources or venues where you can find women who share your feelings. A good woman will listen to you as you explain things to her. An insecure one will run from you.
Think well of yourself without excessive pride. That attracts others to you. Be patient, kind, compassionate, understanding, and more mature than those other guys your age. You probably are already are those things, but it never hurts to be mindful about them.
How to broach the subject of nudity. Speaking for myself, I'm indirect. I might mention an article I just read in the newspaper or magazine about nudism(obviously a made-up article that doesn't exist) and solicit an opinion from a woman about that subject. Imagine different scenarios about how to conduct a conversation about that. I know it is lying in a sense, but I see it more as a hypothetical experiment on how to measure a woman's feelings about nudism. It seems like a harmless way to "interrogate" a woman's attitude about nudism. She might be all for it, in which case doing fine. If she is squeamish about and curses the people who are nudists, you just found out the easy way, instead of later on where there is much more emotional loss for you.
Those are some thoughts that pass through the unused spaces in my mind. For what it's worth.
“I rise early almost every morning and sit in my chamber, without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing.”
Ben Franklin
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 1964 |
|
|
|
gnarlyoldman
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/19/2016 : 09:18:59 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by nudistmormon
thanks for the advice all, to be honest, i keep looking at how i like living my life and despite some issues here and there, i see no wrong in my own simple nudity as i have made known in this and other posts, i have nude photos of myself.
Not new here, I usd to have the s/n loves2bnude
We are told by our culture from our very first day that we have to be covered. Since you changed your name to "nudist Mormon" it shows that your religious background is a lot more demanding and shaming about clothing than even the rest of America. Your now departed GF probably whined about Mormon sacred underwear and other Mormon teaching about bodies. Its a lot harder to throw off the religion of our youth than we might think. We not only have to understand and reject the dogma, but we have to be able to get past the "that's just not right" part of behavior obedience.
My suggestion for getting over her criticism is to do some practice. Every behavior we want to learn is easier with practice. Take a bunch more naked photos. Print some out and hang them on your refrigerator and bedroom wall. Change the desktop "wallpaper" on your computer to a naked photo of yourself. Love yourself by seeing yourself every day. And also post some more naked photos on-line. Facebook doesn't like photos of human beings, but Naked Public Dares, or Naktiv.net are places to post naked photos of ourselves. And go out into the world naked too. It feels good when we get seen.
Love yourself first, your real human being self. Practice, practice, practice.
Naked is green.
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 254 |
|
|
|
nudistmormon
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/20/2016 : 10:59:07 PM
|
ya know, shes been gone 3 years,im tired of living a lie, nude is who i am.
Not new here, I usd to have the s/n loves2bnude
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 60 |
|
|
|
FireProf
Forum Member
|
Posted - 10/21/2016 : 01:12:22 AM
|
Yikes dude ... 3 years! Yes ... nude is who you are ... Move on! ;)
Loves being naked. Plays well with others!
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 3175 |
|
|
|
rooftopwilly
Forum Member
|
Posted - 09/13/2019 : 12:03:12 AM
|
An update on my last answer 3 years ago.
2 and a half years ago, I got back together with my college sweetheart, the absolute love of my life. I started thinking I was going to have to give up my nudist lifestyle because when we dated in college, I wasn’t as open about my nakedness because we were both living at home, so I really had nowhere to explore it. Well not only did she accept it with no problem, she is getting into it as well.
|
|
Country: USA
| Posts: 1235 |
|
|
|
diddyriddick
New Member
|
Posted - 09/13/2019 : 3:15:10 PM
|
Great news!!
|
|
Country:
| Posts: 4 |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Nudist-Resorts.Org Discussion Forum Bulletin Board Nudism Clothing Optional Resort Naturism Nude Beaches |
© 2002-2020 SUN |
|
|
|
difficult (for me) issue
