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 getting wife into nudism
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Nudony
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Posted - 06/12/2019 :  12:48:30 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by rooftopwilly

My girlfriend (not quite my wife yet) wasn’t into nudism whatsoever. When we got together 2 years ago, she didn’t even like sleeping naked. Little by little she has become more comfortable with it.


Good for you!

My now-wife was pretty much the same way when we first met. Nonetheless I got her to try home-nudism: and she didn't really get into it. Then I got her to try the nude beach: she didn't really get into it either. Then, as a "last ditch effort", I got her to try resort nudism. And within an hour being there, she was in the pool area, nude, striking conversations with other nudists. She had found what worked for her: a semi-private, convivial environment filled with friendly nudists, where she could be her "chatty self" - and be comfortable doing it naked.

Sometimes it takes a lot of "trial and error" before finding what actually works for both spouses. And that takes communication and persistence.





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rooftopwilly
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Posted - 06/12/2019 :  1:42:04 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
That’s great nudony, and good on you for the perseverance without pushing too hard. I know if my girlfriend didn’t like the beach, I never would have even suggested the resort. She’s still a little apprehensive about it but she’s willing to give it a try. I mentioned some other resorts that are a few hours away and she said “let’s see how this one goes first”. Fair enough


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FireProf
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Posted - 06/12/2019 :  6:49:42 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
One stupid action by another can spoil all your hard work at convincing your significant other that social nudism is awesome, safe and non sexual. I wasn't in any better situation with the Prof. It took her 20 years of everyday nudity at home and in our backyard to finally decide to try a nude beach. It wasn't getting naked around others that concerned her, it was the attention she thought she'd get in the social setting. The beach was the best place to show her that no one pays that much attention to you, specifically.

We all know our significant other's limitations and for me, living as everyday nudists for many years is what helped the Prof in those early years of social nudism. It's paid off for me to be patient, in the long run. She's the one that will book nudist vacations and getaways and she picks the places she likes to visit. I'd rather visit new places but if we visit the same few places and she willingly plans the trip, I'm all in for that!



Loves being naked. Plays well with others!



Edited by - FireProf on 06/12/2019 6:50:54 PM

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Warmskin
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Posted - 07/19/2019 :  04:13:28 AM  Show Profile  Send Warmskin a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
Ironically, or perhaps not, it's a blow to the ego when after you disrobe around other people at a beach or resort, nobody pays attention to you. Not even the best publicity agent could get people to notice you.

Imagine a large throng of penguins, and one of them is afraid that the other penguins will notice his or her own black and white colors. Same with the human body.

“I rise early almost every morning and sit in my chamber, without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing.”
Ben Franklin




Edited by - Warmskin on 07/19/2019 04:14:47 AM

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Nudony
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Posted - 07/19/2019 :  9:05:56 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Warmskin

Ironically, or perhaps not, it's a blow to the ego when after you disrobe around other people at a beach or resort, nobody pays attention to you. Not even the best publicity agent could get people to notice you.


Well...

My first wife was/is African-American. Because my nudist experience pre-dated our marriage, I knew there just weren't many (at that time and place) African-American women involved in social nudism.

When I first brought up going to a nudist resort, I knew it would have been disingenuous of me to say: "Don't worry - no one will pay attention to you." And my assessment proved correct. From the first nudist resort trip to the many following trips to different resorts over the years: she was always the only African-American woman in attendance. And she was definitely noticed. And it initially made her self-conscious.

So instead of saying no one would notice her, I focused on telling her "everyone would accept her." And it was true. She was always welcome wherever we went. That helped her getting over and accepting being noticed; eventually embracing her status of being the only African-American nudist in attendance.

My point is that people will notice what is outside of the norm in a nudist environment. And it does not have to be a "bad" thing. It can actually enrich the nudist environment.




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rooftopwilly
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Posted - 07/20/2019 :  04:17:05 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My girlfriend and I hit the beach this week. She’s really getting more and more into it. Today she texted me saying “I just want to go home and strip naked”. We are going to a nude resort for 2 days in August, which she is looking forward to. Then the icing on the cake, the other day we saw an advertisement for a 2 week nude cruise in 2021 and she said “let’s go”. So that is a possibility for us.


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FireProf
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Posted - 07/22/2019 :  11:12:51 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Things are looking up and seem to be going well Willy! Continued best wishes to you and your wife on living the dream... naked!

Loves being naked. Plays well with others!



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rooftopwilly
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Posted - 07/25/2019 :  03:43:26 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thanks FireProf


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rooftopwilly
Forum Member


Posted - 09/11/2019 :  10:32:48 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
After visiting Bare Oaks, she wants to go back. It seems she really enjoys being naked and free now. I bought a Michael Myers mask for Halloween (mine is 27 years old and torn) and she joked about going as Judith Myers, Michael’s sister, for Halloween. I told her she would have to be naked (because she was naked when a young Michael killed her) and she said “I know”.

We are having friends over on Saturday night to go in the hot tub and she’s looking forward to being naked in there.



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calgarymark
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Posted - 09/12/2019 :  3:57:16 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


CalgaryMark
Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional. Laughing at yourself is therapeutic.



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MichiganMan
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Posted - 11/04/2019 :  6:30:32 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I'd be thrilled if my wife gave nudism a shot, but it doesn't seem very likely in her case. She feels self conscious and is almost always completely clothed even when its just the two of us lounging around the house. I've been trying to encourage positive steps like on the hot summer days when I'm naked at home, I can sometimes say something to her essentially that she doesn't have to get dressed right away. I know that she would be terrified to be seen nude by strangers, so I haven't brought up the idea. I guess the optimistic goal would be to take her to a c/o beach and let her dive in at whatever speed is comfortable.


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Nudony
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Posted - 11/06/2019 :  11:57:40 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
When your spouse is a "never-nude", a more realistic goal is to try making "casual nudity" at home more common. One example would be to sit and watch a movie - nude - every once in a while. Even if it's "under a blanket." And with no sexual contact. Interact with her when she's undressed; after coming out of the shower or while changing. Those little random moments can eventually be "habit-forming." But this can take time and repetition.

In my personal experience, the C/O resort (like Turtle Lake Resort) is the best place to take a "reluctant" wife. Nudity is usually required only in the pool area; so she could remain fully covered outside that area. And at TLR there are plenty of grounds to still be able to "wander around" without having to get undressed.

But...I would say take it one step at a time.




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FireProf
Forum Member


Posted - 11/07/2019 :  10:14:44 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MichiganMan

I'd be thrilled if my wife gave nudism a shot, but it doesn't seem very likely in her case. She feels self conscious and is almost always completely clothed even when its just the two of us lounging around the house. I've been trying to encourage positive steps like on the hot summer days when I'm naked at home, I can sometimes say something to her essentially that she doesn't have to get dressed right away. I know that she would be terrified to be seen nude by strangers, so I haven't brought up the idea. I guess the optimistic goal would be to take her to a c/o beach and let her dive in at whatever speed is comfortable.



I echo the entire post that Nudony has shared. Get the c/o beach, clubs and resorts back further in your mind and take the steps that Nudony suggested; try to remain naked after a shower, watch TV in a robe or under a blanket. Nudism starts at home and she'll need to get comfortable at home before being introduced to any social interaction while naked.

Now saying that, I also agree completely with Nudony about visiting a club that is clothing optional. If you have an RV, you could remain naked while she is dressed to her comfort level and she can sit back and watch what really goes on at these places. Furthermore, if she has body image issues, she will be surprised at how common and normal her body type aligns with many, many of the other men and women that visit these places.

My wife will sometimes struggle with body image but after a couple mins at the beach or club or a resort, she's acts as normal naked as she does at home. She says she just needs to see it and remember it that she is normal and there are more women built like her than she thinks.

Patience Grasshopper!

Loves being naked. Plays well with others!



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Jimmie2
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Posted - 11/08/2019 :  08:33:18 AM  Show Profile  Visit Jimmie2's Homepage  Reply with Quote
This has been my experience with getting the wife interested in nudism.

I've always been naked in our pool and hot tub when the situation was right - kids not around, family not visiting. So my wife always knew I had nudism tendencies.

It kind of started while we were RV'ing in 2011. While we hung out in the RV in the evening, I would just hang out naked for the night. Mrs. Jimmie2 wouldn't mind or say anything so I would keep "pushing" the nude thing just a little further each time that we would take the RV out. I eventually started to watch TV at the house in the morning and afternoon naked to which nothing again was said. By this time, I was always naked in the pool catching some rays in the afternoon and just relaxing on the weekend. Slowly Mrs. Jimmie2 would join me in the pool or hot tub naked, but would almost always put something on after she got out.

As time went on, Mrs. Jimmie2 would take a shower in the RV and hang out the rest of the night naked with me! This continued at the house as well - after she got home from her nightly power walk, she would take a shower and hang out the rest of the evening naked.

The real turning point came in 2016 when Mrs. Jimmie2 asked what I wanted to do special for my 60th birthday. Well of course take the RV over to Cypress Cove Nudist Resort for the weekend! She finally agreed to go only if some good friends of ours would go too - they are long time nudists who had been after us to go with them to Cypress Cove. Mrs. Jimmie2 agreed to go and try it out! Once she arrived and dropped her clothes for the weekend, she was hooked! She realized that we all come in various sizes and shapes and that nobody at Cypress Cove really cared what she looked like.

Since that time, we try to go to Cypress Cove a couple of times a year and Mrs. Jimmie2 has resorted to hanging out naked most evenings with me. Some nights she will wear some panties, but always topless. When we take the RV these days, we are always naked in the evening while just hanging out watching TV and doing some internet surfing.

I always feel that since I didn't push her into nudism but let her go at her own pace, she was more of a willing participate that led up to our first visit at Cypress Cove. Now our visits to Cypress Cove are so enjoyable for both of us - I'm naked from the time I drive through the front gate and Mrs. Jimmie2 isn't far behind. Recently we even ventured to Blind Creek Beach for the weekend. I went on Wednesday afternoon to get things set up and Mrs. Jimmie2 came on Friday after work. During my 2 days there before her arrival were spent so peacefully on the beach and then on Saturday we both spent the day naked on the beach - beautiful!!!



HNATDT



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Nudony
Forum Member


Posted - 11/08/2019 :  11:52:32 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Jimmie2

I've always been naked in our pool and hot tub when the situation was right - kids not around, family not visiting. So my wife always knew I had nudism tendencies.

It kind of started while we were RV'ing in 2011. While we hung out in the RV in the evening, I would just hang out naked for the night. Mrs. Jimmie2 wouldn't mind or say anything so I would keep "pushing" the nude thing just a little further each time that we would take the RV out.



This brings to my mind an important point that is often overlooked. I call it "practicing what you preach."

If you frequently talk about how "nudity is great" without actually exemplifying it; then to the wife it is "just words" with no foundation. And she'll be more likely to dismiss it. But if you're actually naked at every opportunity; then she knows it's serious.

When my then-GF moved in with me, I was already a home-nudist. She wasn't exactly "ok with it" at first; but after some discussions (and some arguments), she agreed to just let me be naked; with the understanding that she had no desire to "hang out around the house" naked herself. So for a while I was the only one naked at home.
The fact that I was always naked at home; coupled with the fact that my active interest in nudism led to me purchasing nudist book and periodicals which would be strewn around the house, led her to the realization that this was not some "weird fetish" or "transient interest." That led to discussions.

It took some time; but slowly and progressively she started changing her mind about nudity. Every once in a blue moon she'd step outside of her comfort zone and briefly interact with me after showering; one day she even agreed to sit with me and watch "Educating Julie" naked. She started showing some interest in the nudist literature I'd leave hanging around. She started sleeping nude with me; and eventually made a habit of it.

All those things, added to my consistent nudity around her, culminated around two years later (yes it can take that long.) On a particularly hot summer day; it finally "clicked" for her: she realized she really didn't need to be constantly dressed. After also realizing she was much more comfortable just staying naked after showering, she was "sold." She started getting naked after coming home from work and soon it became habit. The next stage was getting her to the resort; but that's another story.

But yeah...when I hear/read stories of guys unsuccessfully trying to "convince" their spouse - and I ask them how often they are nude at home - and they say "rarely ever/never", then I think: "well what do they expect?" My first wife eventually became a home-nudist in great part because I demonstrated how nudity could be a "normal" thing.









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