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youbetcha
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 Posted - 01/18/2010 : 3:46:41 PM
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I read somewhere here that it's best not to go to a nudist or clothing optional event alone. I'm wondering how true that is. If it is true and I currently don't know anyone else that would like to go with me, how would i go about finding someone outside of my current circle of influence to go with at least for my first time?
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Michel
Forum Member
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Posted - 01/18/2010 : 4:44:04 PM
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The 'don't go alone' is specifically for guys too, so good luck with that, I would suggest going to a really big event your first time, like the aanr conventions, there are so many people there no one person really stands out... It's all the idiots that ruins it for the single guys, otherwise just hit the clothing optional beaches...
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Bill Bowser
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Posted - 01/18/2010 : 5:12:48 PM
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You are on the horns of a dilemma. With no naturism experience and no naturist friends (as far as you know) you don't know how to get involved in the lifestyle. I once read a post on a nudist forum which suggested that there ought to be a system of mentors for potential naturists who could show the way. It sounded like a good idea to me, and this would solve your problem, but it has yet to happen. Now, you might find someone on this forum who could perhaps accompany you on your first foray into our world, which would do the trick, but it is probable that you'll have to go it alone. I did it, and I'm sure you can too. It really is much easier than you think it will be.
About 3-1/2 years ago I was faced with the same dilemma. I wanted to determine if social nudism was appropriate for me, but I didn't know how to go about it. The fact that I'm a pretty shy guy, made it that much more difficult for me. Little did I realize that getting involved was one of the easiest and most rewarding things I've ever done.
For my introduction I chose to go to a nearby nude club. The other option might have been a clothing-optional beach, but there were none in my area. (I recommend nude clubs as they offer a more protected environment to the newcomer.) Despite my anxiety and apprehension my first experience was wonderful. Removing my clothes in public the first time proved to be surprisingly easy. In retrospect I can't really say why I was anxious or apprehensive, but it was absolutely painless.
Try it; you'll like it.
Bill in Cincinnati
Nudists are everywhere, but they're hard to identify with their clothes on.
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Nudony
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Posted - 01/18/2010 : 6:05:11 PM
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I think people recommend not going alone for two main reasons: voyeurism and/or boredom. Being a single female at the nude beach can be daunting because, yes, there is a chance a woman will get a lot of undesirable attention. And yes, sitting by oneself all day at the nudist resort can get quite monotoneous. There are simple ways to solve that. Non-landed clubs are usually small enough; introductions are immediate and people will want to get to know you - so you won't feel alone very long. As far as the nudist resort, call ahead, find out what activity they're planning and request to be a participant. Volley-ball tournament? Jump in. Pot-luck dinner? Help the cook. Not only will it be easier to get nude with everyone else, but people will talk to you and you won't have to feel alone.
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sailawaybob
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Posted - 01/18/2010 : 10:14:40 PM
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i kinda disagree weather your male or female going solo is ok take a book if you get bored but at most clubs there is always something to do, pool, sunbathe,hiking,games, volleyball etc. if your a solo male you will not fit in as well as a female will thats just life but there is always someone to talk to but don't wait if its warm in your area go......
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youbetcha
Forum Member
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Posted - 01/18/2010 : 11:19:28 PM
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I appreciate the information so far. Unfortunately the place I'm the most comfortable with going to my first time is San Onofre. It just happens to be under attack right now. I still might go there but want to make sure my somewhat still intorverted ways aren't misunderstood. If there is volleyball or enough peole surfing, some kind of group activity, that would a be great way to start though.
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Warmskin
Forum Member
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Posted - 01/19/2010 : 03:46:11 AM
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You could take the academic approach if you're good at forming a mindset before you try a nude facility or beach. Think of going to one of those places strictly as an experiment. I.e., you're there to make observations, on the quiet side, naturally. Just see what people, in general do, notice your thoughts and feelings. If it's an experiment, then if it doesn't work out right for you, then you can write it off as merely an experiment. Remember, you're there to simply observe, without staring at anyone.
If you notice your feelings and thoughts are contented ones, you can make a note to go a second time. The main thing is to not see it all as a test of nudism per se. The first time is merely an observation; nothing more or nothing less. That is what I did the first time, and it took the pressure off me, so to speak. I was more relaxed.
A beach is one way to start, because there is nothing terribly pre-defined. You just hang out at the beach, and read, take an IPOD or MP3 player, enjoy the feeling of being nude. If you get invited to play volleyball, great!! If not, no big deal.
With some nudist resorts, you may feel isolated when it seems you ought not to be. It seems people accept you much more if you bring a friend, and more likely a friend of the opposite sex. If that can be done, than you are more likely to be accepted. It's not fair, but it's that way.
Simply being a nudist is not enough to make for fellowship, even though nudism in itself is a special interest. One might think that a special interest would bond people of all types together, but that would not be the case at many places. It's not like the fan club for the San Diego Chargers.
Again, you might just treat your first time as an academic experience, wherein you have zero expectations, except to find out what goes on at a nudist place, for your own educational purposes. Makes it a lot easier for you.
By the way, you could go to Black's Beach near San Diego.
"If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy."
James Madison
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77777
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Posted - 01/19/2010 : 04:07:12 AM
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My wife is not into nudism at all, so I can only enjoy it while traveling on business or when I'm alone at home. Unfortunately, some clubs do discriminate against single or unaccompanied men, but I've been very fortunate to find some AANR and TNS affiliated clubs as well as unaffiliated clubs that accept single or unaccompanied people without any stigma. Sometimes I'm welcomed warmly by friendly people and sometimes I feel kind of isolated. In either event, try to be approachable and if there are any sports, such as volleyball, try to find a way to participate. If in a pool, hot tub, or sauna, try to strike up some small talk with other people there, and you'll usually be able to make some new friends quickly. The most important part, especially if an unaccompanied guy, is to be on your very best behavior since some people will look at single or unaccompanied guys with suspicion, because some narrowminded people seem to think nudism is somehow only for those that are married or have a spouse or BF/GF that is into it.
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youbetcha
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Posted - 01/19/2010 : 07:59:44 AM
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Couldn't sleep...anyway, yeah I get that it needs to be a safe place and quite frankly that works for me too. I'm hetro and don't really want to be hit on.
I do like the experiment idea, because that is basically how I would approach it. It just takes a little longer for me to get comfortable with people than it does with most extroverts, but once that happens I'm fine.
Maybe Blacks would be better, but I think I'll wait and see how things develop this summer. Is volleyball a somewhat regular thing at San Onofre or is it pretty hit and miss?
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Balto Bob
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Posted - 01/19/2010 : 11:09:28 AM
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I think many or even most of the members here have gone to nude events alone. Some places don't welcome single men, others do. Nothing is perfect. I have attended several swims with a local group here in MD (MARNA). They welcome everyone but, I understand have asked a few people to NOT came back. I haven't there when this has happened. MARNA is much like this forum, 1 person has the power to decide who stays or goes. Like I said, nothing is perfect. There are places and groups for a single guy to visit.
Bob
Have a nice NUDE day !!
www.ipernity.com/doc/elvertbarnes/5172004/
www.flickr.com/photos/perspective/2560521247/
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jbsnc
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Posted - 01/19/2010 : 11:59:06 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by youbetcha
I read somewhere here that it's best not to go to a nudist or clothing optional event alone. I'm wondering how true that is. If it is true and I currently don't know anyone else that would like to go with me, how would i go about finding someone outside of my current circle of influence to go with at least for my first time?
I've been to 5 different resorts as a single male. No problems anywhere and generally friendly people, male, female and kids. I recommend you join AANR. You can find nudist resorts at www.nudistparksusa.net which provides resort web sites links to get loads of data about the resort and ways to contact them. Contact the resort and tell them of your plans.
Happy Nuding.
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Edaggett
New Member
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Posted - 01/20/2010 : 12:46:51 AM
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I've been a nudist now for 20 years as a single male. The way I started was going to a beach where it was accepted. Still took like 2 hours to feel good about being nude outdoors but once past that it was fun. It's not really that hard to get used to.
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