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seallin
Forum Member
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 Posted - 11/02/2009 : 1:34:31 PM
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I'd like to share some messages that we've received elsewhere on another site. I thought this guy was crossing some lines too soon. What do you think?
His Message 1
Hi. Was just wondering where you guys usually go to be nude around here. Any recommendations? I`m in SW *******. Thanks.
Our Reply 1
Hi, no where around here. We go to either Apollo beach or Playalinda beach at the Canaveral National Seashore. Or we have gone down to Kissimmee to Cypress Cove. All are great places.
His Message 2
Thanks for the info. I was figuring there was no place around here, even though there is plenty of nature here, like the hiking trails, etc. Anyway, if you guys want to rideshare to any of the places you mentioned, let me know. My car fits 3, maybe 4 plus me. Have a great weekend.
Our Reply 2
well maybe. who knows.
His Message 3
Keep me in mind. Also, I used to study and teach massage in Japan a long time ago. If you guys are interested in learning, let me know.
Our Reply 3
Now it`s starting to come off a little creepy.
His Message 4
It was disappointing to read that you thought my last message was "creepy." I lived in Japan for seven years, during which time I regularly met with 30 or so good, outstanding people from several countries who spent weekends weekend with me and another massage teacher at a hot spring inn learning massage techniques and practicing massage on each other. It was one of the most holistic and rewarding experiences for myself and others in the workshop, and the farthest thing from "creepy" I can imagine. If you feel that an offer for massage is "creepy", I feel a bit sorry for you. I wish the best for you two. I am just disheartened at the way you think. Peace.
Our Reply 4
I`m sorry but at the way I think? I think it was your first message that you implied riding together to a nude venue. That in itself is a little strange to offer in a first message. Then to continue and offer massages is worse. You are a 43 year old single male. You are in the stereotypical range of "creepy people". You have one photo that is not nude. Understandable but it`s a nudist site. And people will be suspicious of single men with no photos that show a clear participation in nudism (and to me that doesn`t mean just pictures of you nude at home but out places with others). I not only would like to not associate myself with anyone that may not be completely genuine, but I have a wonderful fiancee that I will NOT put in harms way at all. We will only associate with people who are genuine. You`ve got several red flags and we will be cautious with everyone. Ask anyone else active in nudism and knowing of how to protect yourself online, and they will agree that you have come off as a bit creepy.
His Message 5
I joined this site hoping to make some friends in the area. I searched for profiles. I found yours. I sent you guys a friendly message with absolutely no sexual content hoping to be a part of a community around here. What did I do wrong? Isn`t that what people DO on here? And since when did massages become sexual? That is absurd. And since when does not yet having posted any nude photos prove that someone is not a nudist? Unfortunately, our conversation has degenerated to something undesirable to continue. It`s highly offensive to me that you keep accusing me of being some type of "creepy person". It`s also offensive that you blindly fit me into stereotypes you have fabricated without knowing anything about me. If you have the right to categorize all single guys in their 40s on this site as creeps, then what is to stop others from categorizing all unmarried couples in their 20s as unfriendly, uneducated bigots? I would never categorize like that so quickly. I don`t know what bad experiences you have had in the past, but you`ve already placed me in some category unjustly. I don`t see any value in trying to change your mind at this point. I hope you find whatever happiness you seek.
Our Reply 5
Why be so defensive about it? The point is that the Internet and nudist sites or any websites that have anything to do with nudity, attract undesirable people. And it is best to be cautious. And you sent red flags. Having never talked to anyone before and you offer rides over an hour and half away, massages and whatever, it`s creepy. Think about that: you meet someone on the street, do you randomly say, "hey I`ll take you to the coast and give you massages," or is that just a little bit too creepy? Yes, it is and it`s wrong to do. I`m not saying you are or are not anything. But the way you have started conversation is not a desirable way. Maybe get to know someone first? And you know, you could get yourself into trouble offering rides to people you don`t know. You don`t know who we are. You don`t know what we would do. I`ve found you much more offensive than I know I have been to you.
He doesn't seem to understand how what he has said has made him seem maybe not genuine and a little creepy. I'm a 23 year old guy with a very attractive 21 year old girlfriend. We have or actually had a picture of us on this other site. I'm not bragging saying she is very attractive but it's true. I know that and we know that and we're told that. But the point is, I know what we would attract in people and I know to be cautious. I will do anything to protect us but mostly her.
What do you guys think about this? Sorry it's so long.
He says there was nothing sexual in his messages, no sexual content, but I ask, did I ever say there was? I just said I would be cautious because I will protect us and my fiancee who I know is very attractive and many guys have complimented in sometimes objectionable ways before.
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Country: USA
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pc1961
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/02/2009 : 2:41:32 PM
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You are right to be cautious. Just try to be more tackful.
"Our Reply 3
Now it`s starting to come off a little creepy."
In my opinion, you should have thought this but not said it. If you felt the need to reply at all, a short "OK" or something would have been fine.
Also, while I appreciate your avatar, a picture like that with your lovely lady will attract more unwanted attention from some.
When you get weird vibes, listen to yourself. In all probability, he is harmless but who knows...
Paul
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seallin
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/02/2009 : 2:53:46 PM
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The picture we have here is not the one we have on there. And it shouldn't matter what picture we have. The one on there is a nice picture of us at the beach. I didn't think it mattered what I said back. At that point, I was done with the person and he could think what he wanted. But he got all offended. In my mind, he shouldn't have said what he did and letting him know it was a bit creepy wasn't a bad thing. I figured, if he's genuine, he would see it was a bit creepy and apologize. But he did the opposite thing. Tells me something else is up.
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| Posts: 41 |
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Diger
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/02/2009 : 6:14:54 PM
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Seallin,
You did nothing wrong and if someone is creeping you out feel free to say so. I agree with you, him acting all offended he was actually covering his behavior. I personally have had to apollogize for phrasing something in a way I did not intend to and offending someone in the process. But I just said Sorry and didn't try to justify my words.
The other day I was chatting on Messenger with a guy that found me here on Nudist-Resorts and in just about 5 minutes he asked if I had any nude pictures of my wife. I told him my troll alarm was sounding and I blocked him, I didn't wait for his song and dance, I just blocked him.
You will find some great people here and other nudist sites but you will find far more creeps.
And I think your Avatar is just right, as you can see ours is of the two of us also and I think more should do the same.
I only wish we had started as young as the two of you have.
Good Luck and Welcome to the site.
BTW you don't know how lucky you are living an hour and a half from Apollo, we live 10 hour away.
Diger
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Edited by - Diger on 11/02/2009 6:32:14 PM |
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Safebare
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/02/2009 : 7:33:06 PM
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I agree. You did nothing wrong. You might have found a less threatening tone, but he certainly did nothing to warrant it. Hopefully, he was just naive and will learn something from the interchange. Either way, you invested far more in it than I would have.
You are right to keep your guard up and I certainly appreciate when someone tells me when I say something that sounds odd.
So, move on and enjoy what you have.
Safebare
"Wearing nothing is devine, naked is a state of mind."
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FlCpl4NewdFun
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/02/2009 : 7:59:26 PM
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Yes, his unsolicited messages were totally creepy! I've heard this argument before "oh poor me I'm a single male nudist, what else am I supposed to do?" For starters, stop being creepy! My wife and I have no problem with single males, but we have a big problem with creepy single males, nudist or not!
My question to you is why the heck did you even continue the conversation after he mentioned how many people fit in his car? Carpooling comes well after you get to know someone.
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seallin
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/02/2009 : 8:19:19 PM
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Diger - I know we are lucky to be so close. But even though we are, we still don't find time to go lol
Safebare - When you don't have much to do, you can invest time in things that aren't necessarily needed lol
FlCpl4NewdFun - I've heard the single male nudist problem before too. I understand it and I'm fine with it when they aren't being creepy. We're friends with one we met online and met him at the beach one day.
And as for continuing the conversation, being polite, having nothing else to do. I know sometimes people say things that aren't meant to be creepy and can be. So I just went ahead and replied nice. And like I said, when you don't have much else to do, you can afford to spend time on things. And sometimes I am the type to vigorously defend my thoughts and way of thinking lol
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| Posts: 41 |
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Warmskin
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/02/2009 : 8:42:44 PM
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Your responses and thoughts were quite correct, Seallin, as I believe. You have no obligation to strangers, but instead a profound obligation to your woman. In the balance, the stranger has no substance, but on the other side of the scale is what you know and love.
George Washington had an interesting take on acquiring friends. Do not take on friends until they have, over time, thoroughly demonstrated in various circumstances, that they are worth having as friends. As we get older, and have more to lose, this becomes more and more true. Of course, when we were younger, we took on friends almost sight unseen, but you are at the age where you are free to dissuade the wholly casual come-ons that cannot add substance to your life. You've come too far at this point in your life to waste your kind sentiments on this stranger.
This stranger has far more to gain from pal-ing around with you, than you all would gain from him, and I might add his gain may come at your loss. Please be careful with people like this fellow. He has demonstrated the worst sort of encroachment on your contentment.
Let him find his own pals in his locale, where he can meet like-minded people.
"All men having power ought to be distrusted to a certain degree."
James Madison
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Country: USA
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Randall50
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/02/2009 : 10:36:45 PM
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Seallin: I would have found your correspondent's response forward and creepy even from a full-clothed individual! I believe certain boundries need to be observed in all matters of communication. Over time, people can form degrees of intimacy. I really enjoy this site because, as a nudist, I can express myself without other individuals assuming they can approach me and violate my personal space. Take care.
To gain confidence I always heard: "Imagine the person sitting in his underwear." Funny, I had nothing on at all.
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Country: USA
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NudeAl
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/02/2009 : 10:57:31 PM
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Seallin I think you did the right thing. I also found his posts inappropriate. I would have cut it off a that ride sharing comment. Just go on with your life a let it go.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. -- Robert Frost
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seallin
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/02/2009 : 11:15:03 PM
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I appreciate all the words of support that I did the right thing. I didn't really have much doubt about it but it's nice to hear others agree. I'm certainly done with all that and cutting it off. I hope others less experienced with safety with people you've met online can learn something from it.
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| Posts: 41 |
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Diger
Forum Member
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Posted - 11/03/2009 : 9:53:16 PM
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Seallin,
I know how hard it is to find time, We have some good friends that live only two minutes from the gate at Apollo. They even find it hard to get to the beach. Last June we were there for a week and they got to the beach with us for only one afternoon.
Diger
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free2be
Forum Member
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Posted - 12/31/2009 : 12:11:38 PM
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No telling what his true intentions were, but I agree with Diger -- he should have just appologized for the misunderstanding...not try to defend himself.
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Country: USA
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Nudejon
Forum Member
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Posted - 03/14/2010 : 09:42:09 AM
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Has any one gotten messages from young girls overseas, like in Africa, I have not been on here for very long, and I have gotten a few. I did not repond to them, and after the first one I had a problem with my computer and had to restore it to a earlier date to fix it. Please let me know if any of you have seen this also.
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Country: USA
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runekkid
Forum Member
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Posted - 03/14/2010 : 10:41:35 AM
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Nudejon,
I have recently gotten a couple of these. I don't know which country they came from but the English was somewhat incorrect. One directed me to find her on a nudist dating site. This was after she had said she had read my bio. The bio plainly says I am married. They seemed like trouble, big time. I just deleted them, and have considered disabling the abiility to receive messages, but am somewhat reluctant to do so in case some genuine nudist wants to contact me. Anyone else?
If I had a tail, I'd wag it!
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Edited by - runekkid on 03/14/2010 11:04:39 AM |
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Country: USA
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MrDave
Forum Member
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Posted - 03/14/2010 : 6:11:51 PM
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seallin,
From what I have read,you did nothing wrong in saying that it sounded creepy. I am new to this forum,but I would react in the same way as you did.
MrDave
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Country: USA
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Messages we received from someone elsewhere
