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Admin
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 Posted - 02/11/2005 : 4:28:25 PM
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From the Columbia Spectator, Online Edition - February 01, 2005
Neglected Pool Needs Skinny Dipping
by Kwame Spearman
Luckily, I managed to avoid taking the swim test by enrolling in a swimming course to fulfill my gym requirements. I loved taking a swim class, primarily because it introduced me to the aquatic center (or lack thereof) on campus.
For some reason, Columbia students simply don’t spend much time in or around the pool. To me, this is a pretty surprising fact, especially considering how weight-conscious our school has become. Really, what could be better than an attractive school spending all of their free time in dripping wet bathing suits?
Recently, while swimming laps in the pool, I looked around the facilities. To my left was an incredibly old man who had enough chest hair to be a polar bear. To my right was a 30-year-old man of steel who was continuously lapping me with his perfect breast stoke (he was severely balding so I didn’t feel too bad). However, there weren’t any real college students to be seen.
In the shower, hoping to hide my naked body from the public, I noticed a slapping sensation on my rear buttock. The old polar bear figure was congratulating me on my stroke. Something had to be done!
For some reason, Columbia students don’t want to swim—and that’s a huge problem.
I started thinking of the possible restrictions that kept us away from the pool. At first, I thought it was the few hours that the pool was available to the general public, but that didn’t satisfy me enough.
Suddenly, it hit me. What is something that ALL college students want to do, but never really have the opportunity?
Skinny-dipping!
Yes, skinny-dipping, that’s the way to get Columbia students into the pool!
Now I know what you are thinking, skinny-dipping is so high school, like prom or watching Dawson’s Creek, but you’re wrong. Skinny-dipping is fun for all ages, and I guarantee it will get Columbia students back in the water.
A few things need to be adjusted with the current pool arrangements. First and foremost (and males will appreciate this), the water needs to be warmed up a considerable amount. I think we can all remember the Seinfeld episode when George went swimming in a really cold pool and had a little incident in the men’s locker room. Well, this is a real problem for many, and a deterrent to skinny dipping.
Also, it wouldn’t hurt to dim the lights a little bit. Now, I don’t think the pool needs to be pitch black--—that could be a safety hazard—but glaring lights don’t bode for great skinny dipping.
Finally, there has to be a regulated time only for skinny dipping. This is a big one. The one thing we don’t want is people coming to the pool who aren’t aware that others will be in their birthday suits. That’s pretty disgusting.
We need to get the students here into the pool.
Swimming is actually a great time to highlight your body. After you’re done, you look and feel completely ripped. Last week after I got out of the pool, I looked like Michelangelo’s “David” (get the nude reference).
Getting students into bathing suits (or lack thereof) would go a long way to help Columbia’s problems with self-conscious students. Clearly, we are the hottest Ivy, yet students all around still feel uncomfortable with their body appearance. Listen—if I can get into a pool (I look like the Pillsbury Doughboy with a slight tan), then everyone should be cool with their appearance.
Every year we hear about a Columbia student that cannot graduate because he or she didn’t pass the swim test; do you think that will ever be a problem again? With skinny-dipping, people will be swimming laps like Michael Phelps on caffeine. It will be a glorious sight!
OK, so maybe skinny-dipping isn’t the best a
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old hippie
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Posted - 07/18/2005 : 4:40:08 PM
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Yah, I can hear the enthusiasm as the Columbia Dean presents this plan to the Board of Regents: "let's have skinny-dipping days in the University pool" We will include it under the Anthroplogy curriculum, as "a field expereience with different cultural attitudes".
Bet that would get the meeting off to a great start.
It is a shame that any university, which is supposed to have as its goal the broadening of horizons, and encouraging of independent thought, so readily becomes stagnant in its attitudes & policies.
Admin, if the author can get the Columbia students to storm the offices demanding their "right to bare arms - and everything else", the university might just revive an old custom. Some of us remember when the local pool at the "Y" was always nude, and only the time clock separated the gents from the ladies. It could be done again; but it would require a freedom of thought that I believe is lacking among the general populace (much less those in a position with face to lose) at this time. I wish us all lotsa luck.
the Old Hippie
Dum vivimus, vivamus!
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balataf
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Posted - 08/15/2005 : 4:57:30 PM
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When I was a student at Univ. of Penna., 1965-66, there wwere both nude classes in swimming, and nude free-swim times. But these were all male-only. I do not know the current situation.
John Froelich
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old hippie
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Posted - 08/15/2005 : 9:36:05 PM
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Do we think it possible that there might be, among the administrative staff at some of the nation's institutions of higher learning, a few souls so enlightened that they might entertain the idea of freedom of (un)dress? Not only Columbia and Penn, but other Ivies, and non-ivies as well? Would a student petition for skinny-dipping hours at the university pool make any impact on the administration? Surely there are some persuasive faculty members or students who could disconer a sympatheic ear at the Athletic Administrator's office. And you know that once the poicy is in place at one school, it will spread like frisbees.
And, then once university students have grown to expect skinny-dipping at the Univ. pool, it will be demanded at local pools too; and soon there will be budding nudists every summer!
Peace on!
The old hippie
Dum vivimus, vivamus!
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old hippie
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Posted - 08/22/2007 : 4:03:46 PM
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Two years on, and no word of skinny-dipping at ANY institution of higher learning. Guess they are too busy with important stuff like tuition and student loan scandals.
"Where are the SDS of the 21st century?", he bemoaned.
Dum vivimus, vivamus!
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