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McNigel
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Posted - 04/21/2011 : 07:59:29 AM
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When the subject came up on an unrelated forum, it seemed like logic has little to do with it. About 50% of people just said they could never go naked in public, even though many acknowledged that they couldn't explain why.
It is possible that people with this sort of engrained attitude could be coerced into going naked, but they will never be happy. It really is best to accept this and move on.
My wife is no nudist, but has no problem with being naked. If she's somewhere where it is appropriate to be naked, then she will be. She loves a beach we go to in Spain, because it's beautiful. I really don't think that being naked there is of that great significance to her.
She might be naked, but don't go calling her a nudist.
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nudesunguy
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Posted - 04/21/2011 : 10:00:58 AM
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I agree with Bill. Our society is so body uptight that many people, especially women, feel ashamed of their bodies with their clothes on, so of course they are not going to consider allowing anyone to see them nude. Little do they know that after about the age of 40, a woman looks better nude than wearing a confining, pinching bathing suit. My wife will not consider wearing a bikini, but has no problem being nude, for this very reason. I'm afraid many women just stop going to the beach altogether in middle age, which is pretty sad when you consider it.
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free2be
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 Posted - 03/15/2012 : 4:13:20 PM
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In reading this forum, I realized I never updated it from Jan. 2010 regarding our visit to Gunnison. It was a great day. She stayed dressed for a little while just getting used to being at a CO beach. I told her I was going to take a dip and she said she would go with me. To my surprise, she did not have her suit on beneath her clothes. She stripped down completely and then promptly put her suit on...but hey...for a split second, she was nude. Once we got into the water, came the second surprise. She took off her suit and skinny dipped with me for about a half hour. It was great and she enjoyed herself. When it was time to head back to our blanket, she put her suit back on before she got out of the water. I thought this was a great start and that our visit in 2011 would yield more surprises. Alas, that was not the case. She kept her clothes on the whole time and didn't even go in the water. She still had a great time just relaxing and reading. She said she was not at all uncomfortable being there. We'll see what 2012 brings. I'm just glad she is willing to go with me.
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nudesunguy
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Posted - 03/17/2012 : 01:23:20 AM
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That's fascinating. It's hard to comprehend what goes on in the minds of women. My wife will sometimes drape a towel in front of herself at a nudist resort during the day, and yet will jump naked over and over in the (well-lit) pool at night with dozens of people watching.
Anyway, I think your wife has made great progress.
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free2be
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Posted - 03/17/2012 : 07:53:33 AM
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Thanks nudesunguy...I am happy with whatever progress she does or does not make. The main thing is that she is supportive of me...even to the point of letting me go by myself to winter swims and resorts. If, over time, there are more days like the 2010 visit to Gunnison, that would be great.
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steady78
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Posted - 03/17/2012 : 12:06:13 PM
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Free2be, you've got the right approach. My experience with Mrs steady, patience has been very important .
My wife tells me that my complete comfort with being naked around the house even when she is clothed has helped to calm her nerves when joining me at home and else where.
So, consistency is definitely important.
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free2be
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Posted - 03/19/2012 : 07:56:34 AM
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We've got the right approach steady...no pressure. My wife used to make a comment (nothing negative) about my being naked. Now, she is more likely to make a comment like..."you still have your clothes on?" I do believe she is definitely more comfortable with nudity (mine), which hopefully makes her a little more comfortable with her own.
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Nudony
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Posted - 03/19/2012 : 3:35:59 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by steady78
Free2be, you've got the right approach. My experience with Mrs steady, patience has been very important .
My wife tells me that my complete comfort with being naked around the house even when she is clothed has helped to calm her nerves when joining me at home and else where.
So, consistency is definitely important.
I think that when most guys think about bringing their spouse into nudism, they don't think of it in terms of "strategy." What are the short term and long term steps to make it as easy as possible for a spouse to participate in recreational nudity? What's the plan?
When I first experienced nudism at Gunnison, while I was dating my girlfriend-soon-to-be-wife-and-now-ex-wife (phew, mouthful!), I knew I really wanted to take the next step and visit a nudist resort with her. We discussed it; she didn't outright say no but stated she'd be too uncomfortable disrobing in front of strangers, and wasn't in the habit of just walking around in the buff. That told me two things: she wasn't confident about her looks and was afraid she'd be judged, and a C/O option might actually get her out to a resort.
So I started formulating a 3-part plan.
Part 1 of my strategy: to get her comfortable with the "visual" of nudity; while not pressuring her to join me - but applauding her if she did. And so I started going nude at home every day; not all day all the time, but for some time every day. Initially, she thought I was being quirky, and she would crack jokes or make it into something sexual. Then it progressively became less and less of a big deal. Sometimes I'd go sit in the bathroom and talk to her while she was bathing or showering; simple conversations about nothing. I'd often follow-up with a nude hug after she dried-off, as a sign of affection and encouragement. Of course she'd then run off into the bedroom and put something on; but at least we got to spend a modicum of time socializing and talking nude.
When I saw that being around me nude was becoming a non-event, it was than time for Part 2 of my strategy: explaining nudism. I had a subscription to N, I had Educating Julie. I left the magazines laying around, I occasionally saw her pick one up and read it; I remember her commenting that she liked the fact that there were different sized women represented, and she also liked the family interviews. Educating Julie did not quite have the positive response I expected (she thought it was just silly), but then again she did like the comfort with nudity Gail ward (the actress) exhibited throughout the movie. I think it challenged her to rethink her own comfort levels.
Part 3 was the trip. My birthday was coming up: she asked me what I wanted to do. My answer was evident! I had up to that point done my research: the nearest resort was WTP. I gave them a call, asked them what a slow day looked like, and whether my wife could get a "nudity-raincheck" on her first trip. He gracefully answered that a slow day would be a week day before May, and that my wife remaining dressed would be a-okay. So here's how I presented my birthday present to my wife: a trip to the resort, on a slow April day, with very few people present, and at no point would she be asked or pressured into disrobing. She found it near impossible to refuse. Because:
- at that point she had seen and been around me nude every day for almost a year.
- she had read the nudist periodicals and couldn't object to something she had read about and approved of.
- there was an express guarantee that few people would be there, that no one would see her nude and that she would have to be nude under any circumstances.
My strategy had simply been to get her to a nudist resort. It had taken 3 stages and almost a year. I'll just summarize the "first-time trip story". I went nude right away; this and the absence of people at the resort that day lowered her defense and prompted her to trade her t-shirt and shorts for a sundress. A short stroll on the nature trail prompted her to unbutton her sundress so she could feel the "fresh air." A detour by the sauna and hottub prompted her to remove her dress for a "dip and sweat." A couple of unexpected visitors caused her to "surprise herself" by actually interacting with nude people. As we got ready to leave, I noted that instead of climbing in the back of the car to change - as she'd gone when we'd arrived, she stood by the front door nude and took her time folding clothes and towels before changing back; and that's when I knew she'd been bitten by the nudist bug. She only went nude for a few minutes; but that'd been more than I'd expected.
I should note that without a strategy leading up to the trip, the result may or may not have been the same. But because there had been a progressive plan, the experience itself became more meaningful for her, leading to the next sequence of events.
After the trip, I knew consistency was key. I continued being frequently nude at home; after the WTP breakthrough trip, she gradually started being more and more frequently nude at home herself. By the time I brought up a second trip, we'd progressively spent more and more time nude together. This natural progression made the next course of action simple for my wife; she brought a sarong, this time removed it completely on the nature trail and by the pool. Also, other people saw her nude, defusing her concerns about being seen nude and judged. Although we mostly stayed to ourselves and away from the crowd, she was nude this time for quite a while.
This "evolution" continued on with the next and third trip: it had a distinctively more social setting, something she wasn't all that happy with at the time. But after her sequence of breakthroughs, it wouldn't have made sense to backtrack, so she disrobed and kept to herself. Which didn't last very long. The next thing I knew she was nude and involved in a very lively conversation with some other nude women, quite obviously totally comfortable with the situation. That was her biggest breakthrough. She had gone past self-consciousness and was now "at one" with her nudity and others'.
This long diatribe to illustrate the fact that although no plan or strategy is fullproof (my plan may or may not work for anyone else), a good one and a positive response to it will set the tone for a natural progression - which, I may add, can sometimes take several months or several years. Time it took for my wife's "final" breathrough: over 3 years.
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Edited by - Nudony on 03/19/2012 9:04:08 PM |
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mj45
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Posted - 03/29/2012 : 10:32:31 AM
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hi, Just a quick note here, we (my wife and I) just got back from a two week camping trip in Fla that included a week at Cypress Cove. The wife loved it and spent the second week compairing the place in Punta Gorda unfavorably to CC. She is talking of finding a way to do a month there next year!! Ain't life grand!! Michael
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Posted - 03/29/2012 : 10:36:51 AM
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MJ---- I used to live in Florida and Loved the cove it was always nice there. I never felt anything negative being nude or not nude when I was in the cove.
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Posted - 03/20/2013 : 06:59:59 AM
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Long ago well maybe when wife and I began dating like 6 years ago, I took her to a nude beach in Florida it was mildly overcast day not great for sunning, I went full nude she only went topless but we spent a few hours relaxing on beach but she didnt get hooked to it..yet.
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allnaturalwife
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Posted - 03/21/2013 : 6:12:49 PM
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If I had a nickel for every guy that wanted their g/f or wife to "try nudism"........:)
I do take a small issue with the "phrasing" here though. Guys, what you really want your significant other to do-- is to go with you to a nudist venue, and in turn get naked there. "Nudism" is a way of life not an activity.
Jennifer
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Nudony
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Posted - 03/21/2013 : 11:48:29 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by allnaturalwife
If I had a nickel for every guy that wanted their g/f or wife to "try nudism"........:)
I do take a small issue with the "phrasing" here though. Guys, what you really want your significant other to do-- is to go with you to a nudist venue, and in turn get naked there. "Nudism" is a way of life not an activity.
Jennifer
Well...yes. I'm not sure what you're getting at. When I took my then-new wife to the resort, I was absolutely hoping she'd get naked and enjoy the experience. I don't see what's wrong with that. She didn't (very long) the first time; but eventually she did go naked at the resort and enjoyed it.
Are you talking about the prequel to the nudist resort experience; i.e starting off by being nude at home?
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FireProf
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Posted - 03/21/2013 : 11:58:16 PM
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... and I think that's where the lines blurs more frequently, nowadays. I don't want to turn anyone away from "nudism/naturism" but there is a difference between people that have lived this type of lifestyle for very long periods of time and decided to do this for philosophical reasons and not some that just decide one day ... "I think I'll be a nudist ... " and are naked on occasion, only naked on vacation and don't have the compulsion to be naked as many "nudists" do. We live it, not to the extent I'd like, but we are both naked at home ... almost always. We visit our club regulary, we vacation at nude resorts, primarily, we support nudist orgs and defend our lifestyle as something right and good and wholesome.
We began raising our girls as nudists ... but without a support system, such as we have today, we thought we shouldn't "force them" into remaining nudists and we allowed them to stop. If we had a support system and we much more educated about clubs, we may have found them "new" friends that would dispell all those things they were hearing from the textile friends. The upside ... 20 yrs after they left the lifestyle, they are both returning to a degree. They both remember the great times we had as a family in our backyard and family naked time inside at night playing games and watching TV.
You can't just ask ... "what can I do to get her to try nudism..." ... nudism is something inside you, it is a way of life and only going to nude venues or clothing optional venues rarely or on vacation ... isn't the same as the way many of us live, day to day.
:)
Loves being naked. Plays well with others!
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Posted - 03/22/2013 : 07:00:42 AM
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I dont see the big problem with getting someone to "try" nudism if someone had not gotten me to try it as well I wouldnt be a nudist. That is the only way to keep the nudist population growing if that is even possible anymore :)
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Getting her to try nudism
