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 Education - Promoting the Nudist Lifestyle
 How to educate your non-nudist family members
 Convincing my wife

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T O P I C    R E V I E W
Bamanate Posted - 07/04/2007 : 12:33:22 PM
My wife has gone with me once to a nudist beach w/o taking anything off herself. How do I convince her that it's ok, natural and not something dirty? Anyone know of a good book, pamphlet or other reading material so I can convince her to join me? Thanks in advance.
15   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
soonbnude Posted - 10/11/2017 : 4:32:58 PM

Thanks for the information, the key is no pressure it seems and I'll be going to beach where no one knows us and if they do they are likely to be nude anyway. Will try to meet some nude couples I've befriended on another site after a while, and if it works. A nude camping place / resort in South Australia beckons too, about 4 hours drive away. Cheers, SBN.
Jimmie2 Posted - 10/11/2017 : 1:31:55 PM
I am one of the ones who had a wife that totally did not understand my desires to be naked all the time. After both kids left for college, I gradually was naked more and more. Mrs. Jimmie would get naked in the hot tub and once in awhile would jump in the pool naked. When we would take the RV out for the weekend, I always hung out naked in the RV while we sat around, watching TV, cooking, etc. Then for my 60th birthday last year, Mrs. Jimmie asked what I would like to do special for my birthday. Well, hell….go to Cypress Cove for the weekend!!! After she thought about it for a couple of days, she finally agreed to try it, but only if our nudist friends (always been friends, but never got naked with them) would go too. Of course they agreed and my friend said he would’ve pissed his pants…if he had been wearing any!

That weekend was an eye opener (after a couple of beers!)for Mrs. Jimmie as she finally realized that we are all different in age, size, looks and it seemed nobody cared what you looked like. After that weekend, Mrs. Jimmie has really loosened about her prior hang ups about nudity. Over the last 4 or 5 years since our son went off to college and I started to be naked more and more, I never pressured her to get naked with me – if she wanted to jump in the pool naked, I never made a big deal about it one way or the other. After being to Cypress Cove now 4 times, Mrs. Jimmie really likes being naked around the house and even hangs out naked in the RV with me.

Mrs. Jimmie's current routine is for her to cook dinner, go out for her nightly power walk, come home and either jump in the pool or take a shower which leads to her being naked for the rest of the evening watching TV or doing some crafts in her craft room.

I fell very lucky that Mrs. Jimmie finally gets it and she actually looks forward to going to Cypress Cove or just hanging out naked at the house.


HNATDT
Nude in AK Posted - 10/11/2017 : 03:10:27 AM
I also belong to the group of the wives would rather not be nude. This last summer, while camping, she did proceed to be mostly nude for a while but was not comfortable. I on the other hand have no issues with being nude. Most times I would rather be nude but that is not always possible.
free2be Posted - 10/10/2017 : 5:48:38 PM
SBN - it's similar with me...my wife has become more and more supportive and has actually gone skinny-dipping when we went to Apollo a few years ago. She still considers herself to be a confirmed textile and would prefer to keep her clothes on. It took many years to get to this stage but it's great that she is ok with going to the CO beaches with me. Between the two of us, we are the epitome of CO...she is the "C" and I am the "O".
soonbnude Posted - 10/10/2017 : 05:20:08 AM

This is a challenging topic. My wife came with me to some nude beaches years ago, a few times. That was pre-kids. She had a good time one week-end so I went back the following week-end but she got angry. It was a long walk and around the coast so I just started walking and went to the far end of the beach, past lots of people and this made my wife have to walk past everyone else looking for me a half hour later. She checked out all these other guys and sat down next to one guy by mistake thinking it was me. She found me and was cross so it has not worked for me long term. These days, many years later, she occasionally gets naked with me in the back yard (usually after a couple of drinks) but is OK with me doing it. I think she is becoming more accepting and I plan on going back to one of the local beaches this year, I'll update how this goes but I won't hassle her to get undressed, while she has a great body for a 53 year old she compares herself to stuff we all see in the media and on the net, I reckon that is a challenge for all of us. Anyway, enough for now. Cheers, SBN.
mayan1962 Posted - 01/24/2013 : 03:46:06 AM
Interesting topic I have. Sort of different story from all of you and also came from a different perspective. From my earliest memory nudism was discouraged in my home. My parents did not have anything encouraging about our self image. My siblings laughed if they saw my feet being exposed to air. I was so shy and scared that I was ashamed to show my feet in public! So from an early age shame and guilt were the framework of our image and our bodies. I grew up in Central America and came to the US in the 80's. I met my wife a very sweet and intelligent woman and fell madly in love with her. However,she was raised in a fundamentalist evangelical church and nudity was thought of sinful and shameful. We were not that far from each other when it came to overcome all these silly notions of shame and guilt. After we got married we discussed everything and challenge each others perspectives with love and understanding for one another. She helped me overcome my sense of shame and I think by doing so, she also helped herself to rise above the religious notions that everything is a sin. She helped me become a better man and I love her more for that. I just hope that I have had the same effect on her life. We usually vacation every summer in the northern Michigan peninsula where her family owns some property. We have discussed nudity and the sense of freedom that we experience specially at home when we are in the privacy of our bedroom . We have some of the deepest and most fulfilling conversations when we are naked. But just a year ago when we where at the beach on Lake Michigan on a deserted part of the beach, she just took the top of her swimming suit off. It was a very sunny and delightful day and I decided to ask her what motivated her to remove her top. I was not accusatory just curious in my tone. She told me it felt like the right thing to do at the moment. After that we jumped into the lake and removed the rest of our garments and floated naked on the lake. It was hard to let go of the sensation of joy that we felt and shared bathed by the blue sky. There was no sexual tension or arousal just an inexplicable joy for life and a new sense of wholeness. As we floated my wife told me that she wished we could be like this all the time without worry or shame. This from the girl that 20 years earlier believed in nudity being a mortal sin. It does not surprised me though, after delivering three children and being prod in the hospital for the kids deliveries or other ailments, it dawned on her that nudity is not abnormal. What it is abnormal is the way we humans behave towards any body part or body function. We ascribed sin , and disgusting, or repugnant to anything that has to do with our bodies because we refused to open our minds to real understanding. That kind of deep and simple understanding is real knowledge and knowledge is freedom. To be free of our own ignorance is accepting that life is much more deeper and important than the color of our skin, the shape of our bodies and the size of our penis, the size of our breast, the color of our eyes, or the accent in our voice. My wife took a step in human evolution that day on the beach and now we are looking for a place to experience that freedom together and meet the other human beings that have reached the same level of humanity and understanding. We are in no hurry but I would like to take her to a place with access to a beach where she will be free to feel the sun and the wind on her body and her spirit. The kids will get to know that we feel this way and they are in no way obligated to do the same just because we do. They have to feel in their soul the need to do it , or not. But coming from their mother and father I think they will want to sense that same freedom and sense of humanity.
n/a Posted - 01/09/2013 : 7:19:47 PM
My wife sadly connects her weight to her comfort being nude so less the weighs more she is open to being nude in public...
sailawaybob Posted - 06/29/2008 : 12:30:56 AM
Bamanate my wife is what I consider a closet - backyard pool nudist who also sleeps most of the time in the nude, this summer we vacationed in St.Augustine - Daytona area, we finally got down to New Smyrna Beach (my favorite town) we first headed downtown and after a while she suggested we go swimming when I responded we didn't bring any suits she said well where the nudie beach.It didn't take long to buy a couple towels and pay the entry fee to Apollo beach where we spent the rest of the day.My suggestion would be to get her comfortable around the house maybe get a above ground pool for skinnydipping if you have a backyard. It take time and i'm not sure if my wife will ever be comfortable around others nude but I still have the backyard and Apollo Beach..good luck !
nudewalker Posted - 06/28/2008 : 10:51:21 AM
Just a thought because it worked for me. To try to convince my wife to be more comfortable at home I suggested that we paint a bedroom that she wanted to redecorate. The only catch was that we would do it nude. I assured her that we would cover the window and provide light so we could see. Also, whatever you do don't try to iniatite sex, just compliment her on her work. Now it seeems that when any major household chores need done or she wants my help we work nude, plus she is naked at home more. They're baby steps but it might help!
Bamanate Posted - 06/25/2008 : 06:43:45 AM
Thanks again everyone for all the responses. I have to say that I'm lucky in the sense that she is fine with me being naked at home most of the time and out in the private area of our deck. She has also gone with me to Apollo Beach recently, though she didn't take anything off, she was still there and was fine with me doing so. I'm just going to be patient. I think that a female may be the answer to convincing to give it a try.......though with no pressure there either.
Wish me luck.........and stay bare.
n/a Posted - 04/20/2008 : 7:53:43 PM
Be careful in how you approach this with your spouse, its alot easier if one is already a nudist before they date and marry that person. One issue that hasn't been brought up is that she might be having some professional concerns regarding social nudism. For some careers, being known as a nudist can end a career in a NY minute. (Just ask some military retirees and vets about that)

Take care and be bare!
CathyK Posted - 04/13/2008 : 1:23:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by kangaroo

Although it's understandable why you would want your wife to join you, do you really think you should be trying to convince/coerce her?

Think about it this way...what if she was always trying to convince you not to be nude? Wouldn't that make you uncomfortable? Wouldn't you think she wasn't being accepting of who you are and what you do?

She is joining you at a nude beach, so she obviously accepts you. Why not let her be herself, and she will decide on her own if she wants to try nudism.

-kanga



I totally agree with the Kangaroo here. I have been on both sides of this issue for many years in both my personal and social life. While I myself and many other women I know had no difficulty accepting and embracing the nudist lifestyle, I never met anyone who did it for someone else or to make someone else happy. In the long term, we all did it because it made us happy. Otherwise we might have been happy for a while but then resented our decision. I truly believe that there are some people, women as well as men, who are so socially conditioned against social nudism that they will never accept it without years of therapy. Don't push someone to accept a lifestyle as "radical" as social nudism simply because you yourself want it. it's akin to changing ones religion or career. It's a major change in ones belief system.

Cathy
agde Posted - 04/09/2008 : 6:19:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by elmo
I'm new here and my wife also needs convincing.

Elmo, the article that catbird is referencing is at the bottom of Cheri's page here. As others have noted, while it is of course natural to want to share, the idea of "convincing" a reluctant partner is problematic. It has to be just a pleasant personal choice, and of course women are dealing with somewhat different issues than men. It sounds like your wife is already getting experience feeling more comfortable. Just takes time.

Meanwhile, a few miscellaneous things that I've found sometimes strike a chord in thinking about naturism:
  • It really is about the feeling and not the look. Regular "air-bathing", letting the skin breathe, is an essential part of body health and even looking better in clothes.
  • It really is anyway just another form of casual attire. Clothing like swimsuits already gets down to nearly nothing. "Just skin" is an additional and sometimes more sensible and comfortable fashion choice.
  • It really is a myth that normal civilized behavior is dependent on clothes. Especially at home, among friends and in naturist situations, life naturally can and does continue normally without reference to what people are wearing or not. Same people, same manners.
  • It is really time for the Playboy era to end. Even in public, whenever guys can take off their shirts for comfort, women should be able to too. Nobody's an object. Duh.
Tuffers Posted - 04/08/2008 : 12:29:53 PM
I suppose I was very lucky, thirty years ago when we visited a nudist club that my wife agreed after 10 minutes to give it a go. Perhaps that the day was very warm and she wanted a swim in the pool (No clothing allowed) she agreed but for what ever reason she has never looked back.

If you have naturist friends and there is a lady that can put your partner at ease then try that but coersion is not the way.

Mike
Diger Posted - 04/08/2008 : 09:33:21 AM
I agree using coercion can backfire on you but it will take just a little to get her started, thou it’s best not to pressure her. However with most women it will take some convincing to just try it. One of the best tactics to use is to bribe her with something that she enjoys. For just a few hours nude at this resort I will wash the dishes and cook for a week, works very well. It’s technically coercion but she’s getting something she wants and so do you.

In most cases if you can get her to just try it once or twice she will be hooked and she will be dragging you to the resort/beach.



Diger

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